Does Valentine's Day have you thinking about the current state of your relationship? Should you discover you want to make some changes, relationship counselor and author Jason B. Fischer, MA, LPC would encourage you to stop thinking so conventionally and take an "out of the box" approach to love and relationships instead.
On Thursday, Fischer will dole out wisdom for singles and those paired up while signing his latest book co-authored with Sabrina Kindell, The Two Truths about Love, at BookPeople. His counseling approach calls for individuals to take more responsibility for their actions and look within to develop maturity and depth.
We asked him a few questions that received a some surprising answers, beginning with five unexpected things he suggests you tell your lover on Valentine's Day.
CultureMap: In the spirit of the season, what's a great way to spend Valentine's Day with your one-and-only?
Jason Fischer: This Valentine's Day try sparking some loving conversation with one of the following, at first baffling, statements: "I don't know who you are," meaning "I never want to stop discovering you." "I don't need you in my life," meaning, "I want you in my life." "You don't make me happy," meaning, "I'm very happy being with you, and I promise to nurture my own happiness so I can share that every day." "You have a lot of flaws," meaning, "I want you to truly know that who you are is okay, flaws and all." And saw "I like you" as an alternative to "I love you."
CM: And how do you make romance last beyond Valentine’s Day?
JM: By discovering the meaning of giving permission and taking responsibility — the two truths about love. Love yourself first, and then learn how to best extend this love to others.
"It is this relationship, which I call "internal friendship," which is by far the most important, since it effects each and every aspect of how we relate to everything else." - Jason Fischer
CM: So, what is the most important relationship to have in life?
JF: It's essential to realize that we are constantly having relationships with an infinite number of things, not just people. We relate to everything from traffic and the weather at a given moment, to our clothes and how we look, how we feel, current events, everything.
We relate to people in our present and also memories of those in our past, our family and friends, our pets, strangers, co-workers and, above all else, we are constantly relating to ourselves. By far, it is this relationship, which I call "internal friendship," which is by far the most important, since it effects each and every aspect of how we relate to everything else.
CM: What do you hope people take away from your book, The Two Truths about Love, and who would benefit from reading it?
JF: I don't recommend thinking in terms of "should" but what I can tell you is this: Everyone who reads my book with an open heart and mind will benefit immensely from it. It is truly a life-changer. I hope people take away that they are supremely powerful to create the life and love they always desired, completely on their own.
Fischer will be signing his new release at BookPeople on February 7 at 7 p.m.