Editor's note: There's so much that's beautiful, funny, smart and informative on the Internet. Problem is, there's also a bunch of garbage. Here's the best of the web right now:
1. Tiny hamsters eating tiny burritos is a thing of beauty. We'll leave it to psychologists to explain why watching a tiny creature eat an equally tiny meal is so pleasing. But 6.5 million people and counting can't be wrong. The tiny hamster cuisine trend is already taking off in the form of a tiny pizza sequel.
2. High school football player catches his own 40-yard pass. Gary Haynes' skills are opening up a whole new world of trick-play possibilities. The 17-year-old is seen on video hurling a football up in the air and sprinting to catch it. After many decried the Vine video as fake, Haynes re-created the pass and catch with his high school coach holding the camera.
3. Cannibal cop is now a jailhouse cook. In an odd twist of fate, the former NYPD officer convicted of conspiring to kill and eat women is now a jailhouse cook. Gilberto Valle, 28, is awaiting sentencing after his disturbingly detailed plot was uncovered.
4. David Dewhurst releases bizarre video of Dan Patrick set to Frozen. We're beginning to think there is nothing that can't somehow be related to Disney's Frozen. The latest head-scratcher is a parody of the song "Let It Go," renamed "The Ballad of Dannie Goeb." It pokes fun at the fact that prospective lieutenant governor Dan Patrick changed his name in the 1990s.
5. Oprah Winfrey releases 30-year-old audition tape. It's easy to look at successful people and imagine they were born that way, but it should be of comfort to all of us that even Oprah Winfrey had awkward first impressions. Of course, she still managed to land the job.