When you’re the sort of guy or gal who lives out of his or her suitcase, dating can be the furthest thing from your mind. I ran out of money within two months of relocating to Austin, and have been hopping from couch to couch and working odd jobs ever since. In a constant state of dishevelment, I might be turning heads, but not because I’m an alluring female Bob Dylan facsimile.
After such an extended time of displacement and unpredictability, I have become a bit sterile in my approach to dating. I find myself not caring as much: What if I’m somewhere new tomorrow? Why get attached to someone I might not be with for longer than a few months?
Taking note of my own walls and barriers made me realize that these roadblocks aren’t unique to the misfits or bohemians among us. People from all walks — and in all stages — of life find that their lifestyle (untraditional or not) can stop them from creating the intimate connection they seek in a partner.
But just because you’re a wanderer, just because your feet rarely touch the ground, doesn’t mean you can’t feel rooted. Likewise, just because you work erratic hours, or have a kid or two added into the mix, doesn’t mean you’re off the market. In the same way that I’ve developed deep friendships with fellow wayfarers, I need to seek out romantic partnerships with people that can offer a similar connection.
We need to realize that our unique circumstances don’t have to dictate our dating lives. If you’re in a place where you feel you’re not “ready” for love, rethink it. Just because it doesn’t look like what it’s “supposed to” doesn’t mean it’s not worth giving it a try ... dishevelment and all.