Editor's note: There's so much that's beautiful, funny, smart and informative on the Internet. Problem is, there's also a bunch of garbage. Here's the best of the web right now:
1. Eighteen-foot sea creature found off the coast of California. In what is probably the closest confirmed sighting of anything even remotely resembling the Loch Ness Monster, a marine scientist discovered the carcass of an 18-foot sea creature in the Pacific Ocean. Jasmine Santana spotted the serpent-like oarfish while snorkeling near Santa Catalina Island.
2. Attack of the killer pumpkin products. Is there a pumpkin product bubble? Are we nearing it? The Wall Street Journal's Market Watch thinks so. The latest offerings include pumpkin beer, pumpkin tortilla chips and pumpkin cheese. That's one tasty bubble.
3. Five women more newsworthy than Miley. We don't know why the Los Angeles Times found it necessary to pile on the Miley-bashing as a jumping off point (wait, yes we do), but its look at a handful of women in the world who deserve the spotlight is an otherwise righteous one. Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani teen who survived a Taliban assassination attempt, leads the pack.
4. 15th century Flemish-style portraits re-created in an airplane lavatory. If you thought it was hard to do your business at 30,000 feet, you wouldn't believe what one woman accomplished in an airplane bathroom stall. Using only items commonly found on planes, Nina Katchadourian has created a compelling portrait series as part of creative project called "Seat Assignment."
5. Alamo Drafthouse CEO Tim League issued a lifetime ban on Madonna. Austinites (some of whom learned the hard way) know well the Alamo Drafthouse's zero-tolerance policy regarding texting during its screenings. But when founder and CEO Tim League tweeted last Friday that Madonna was banned from Alamo theaters for life for committing that offense in another theater, the whole world found out.