Where's the skin?

Sexy Halloween costumes for men come up limp: Absurd phallus tricks dominate

Women's Halloween hemlines seem to get shorter and shorter each year as the bank of sexy dress up options become more and more absurd.

We can't tell yet if it's a good thing or a bad one, but there has unarguably been a separate-but-equal response in the men's costume section — all seemingly created for little reason other than to draw attention to the fact of the phallus.

Take this Skeleboner suit, for example, which comes equipped with a hand-held air pump to help the wearer "rise to the occasion."

We have no doubt that you'll score a date while baring your sausage to the world in this Longuini and Meatballs apron, because who doesn't love a man who can cook.

Good luck getting close enough to dance dirty while wearing this Genie in the Lamp getup. Luckily, the unsubtle message — "Rub Me" — ensures that your junk will get some attention during Trick-or-treating.

Charm your snake and the ladies with this Snake Charmer costume — and just add brown face and a bindi for for maximum cultural insensitivity.

This Hung like a Horse costume leaves little to the imagination — but you'd better have something to back you up if you go around making such big claims.

Carry a bayonet to appear politically informed and well-endowed.