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You might be an Austin newcomer if

20 signs you might be an Austin newcomer

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In-N-Out, neon sign, hamburgers, burgers
Pumped about the In-N-Outs opening? You might be a newcomer. Photo by Karsten Behrens/Wikipedia
Michael Corcoran

(Inspired by Jeff Foxworthy, whose Redfest is coming to Austin in May.)

If you ever referred to your place on Braker Lane as "Central"... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If your band just moved to town and you're waiting for a club booker to call you back ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you've never scored drugs at a building that's now a Bird's Barbershop ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you're a musician and you don't know how to make 35 sandwiches an hour … you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you think Dale Watson used to have hits ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If the name 'Frosty' makes you think of a snowman instead of a drummer ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you think Antone's is the home of the blues ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you thought the name "Lake" Travis was ironic ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If seeing a "Don't Move Here" shirt makes you laugh out loud — so original ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If your condo is two blocks from Hut's and you drive to Round Rock and wait in long lines for In-N-Out ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you’ve ever been more excited to see Robert Plant than the skinny red-headed chick he’s with … you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you're wondering who in the hell would put a honky tonk in the middle of a condo project ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you've ever walked right out of a rock n' roll club because it smells of vomit ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you can't wait for that new place to open where something called Arkie's Grill used to be ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you're a veteran musician and you're not studying for your real estate license right now ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you've ever gone to a restaurant because you saw a Guy Fieri segment there on the Food Network ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you’ve ever gone to the Y in Oak Hill to work out … you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you’re really excited about all the music festivals and 10 K runs in town … you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you've ever looked for the owner of Juan in a Million to shake his hand ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

If you think the outdoor stage at Threadgill's on Riverside is where Janis Joplin got her start ... you might be an Austin newcomer.

 

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