The most important event of the television season happens tonight. And it's gonna be a drag.
Three triumphant drag queen finalists are vying for the crown of America's Next Drag Superstar on the Season 4 finale of RuPaul's Drag Race, AKA Literally the Best Show on Television Now or Ever.
With more tears and laughs and genuine talent on display in each and every glorious episode than any other reality show, you are doing yourself and your country a disservice if you ignore its cultural significance. This is RuPaul, y'all, and she deserves your respect and admiration.
For anyone who has not taken in the overindulgent smorgasbord that is Drag Race this season, you've got time to catch up online before the finale. You'll see 13 of the biggest, funniest, most ridiculous characters in the history of reality television take the drama to new bitchy, glittery, big-haired heights.
This is RuPaul, y'all, and she deserves your respect and admiration.
In each episode, the contestants are responsible for styling their outfits, modeling their own fashions on the runway, and undertaking a new challenge like acting, singing, dancing or delivering their thoughts on political topics. All while wearing 50 lbs. of makeup and seven wigs. The bottom two queens must face off in a classic lip-synch competition that determines their drag fate.
And if you've never seen a diva Lip Synch for Her Life, you've never truly lived.
One by one, the 13 fierce contestants from RDR Season 4 have been whittled down to three. And with the largest prize at stake in Drag Race (and LOGO) history, the three remaining queens are out for toxic, mascara-soaked blood.
The three final contestants scratching and side-eyeing their way to the drag crown have been solid throughout the competition. Chad Michaels, the oldest, wisest drag queen of the competition, is a professional Cher impersonator whose heart is as big as his cheek implants. Only in the bottom two once this season, Chad is the consummate professional and a real classy broad.
Phi Phi O'Hara is an angry, immature pretty girl who has served up Nasty Showgirl Realness all season long. She's the perfect reality show villain, alternating between vicious verbal attacks on her more insecure opponents and sincere vulnerability on the runway when the judges were looking.
And finally, Sharon Needles is the shocking, comical dark horse who became an instant fan favorite due to her spooky zombie makeup and Party City couture. Sharon is our hands-down pick for the winner because of her superior comic timing and her entirely unique approach to drag. She's as comfortable in a $1.99 Halloween witch's hat as she is in thigh high vinyl stiletto boots.
And you can't forget about Ru herself. Proving that she's still the host with most (and a little something more), RuPaul appears both in and out of drag to play the Heidi Klum and the Tim Gunn roles in the show. She's a cultural icon that has been influencing pop culture for decades, and she's at the top of her game with every episode. She deserves a million Emmys (and maybe a Grammy nomination some day).
Do yourself a favor and catch yourself up with the funniest, warmest, most progressive show on television. You'll laugh as much as you learn about the complicated drag culture, and you'll probably learn some fascinating pointers about makeup and hair along the way.
Gather your family all up around you and get ready to con-drag-ulate the Next Drag Superstar. Y'all better work.