Last year was my first Fantastic Fest and I'll go ahead and admit it: mistakes were made. In my defense, I have a hard time believing that anyone, let alone little 'ol me, can attend the world's largest genre film festival for the first time and walk away feeling like they did everything perfectly. That's just not how the world works. Heck, that's just not how film festivals work.
However, I learned a lot over those eight days, seeing five movies a day at the Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar (the best theater in the best theater chain in the world, if you'll allow me to be so bold) and managing to live to tell the tale. Now, I'm a returning veteran. I'm a champion of Fantastic Fest, ready to return for another 192 hours of the best horror, science fiction, fantasy and action films the world has to offer. While I'm by no means an expert—some of my friends and colleagues have braved the fest six times and are returning for round seven—I do think that I've learned a thing or two about how to do Fantastic Fest right. Grab a pen and some some paper, film buffs… you're going to want to take notes.
1. Eating Right
One of the benefits of Fantastic Fest being held at the Alamo Drafthouse is the food: delicious, often fried and always artery-wrecking—food that will be brought straight to you as you watch a film. After all, nothing compliments a Korean revenge drama more than a basket of hot wings.
But be warned! There are serious side effects to subsisting entirely on Drafthouse cuisine for a week straight (aside from those extra five pounds you'll take home as a nasty little souvenir). The food on the menu may be tasty, but it's heavy and it has the nasty habit of making even the toughest festival-goer sleepy and bloated when too much is consumed. Sure, buy a meal every so often, but don't be afraid to brown bag it, preferably with something light and healthy. Your stamina—and your wallet—will thank you.
2. Regulating Your Caffeine
On a related note, you will need caffeine. I repeat: You. Will. Need. Caffeine. This really isn't an option. If you want to do Fantastic Fest right, you're going to need to pump your slowly weakening body full of brain-slapping chemicals. Here's my secret caffeine schedule, which I gladly pass onto you, grasshopper:
Begin with tea (I'm a fan of the orange dulce with two sugars, lemon and one honey), consumed during the evening shows. Around day three, you'll need to start consuming tea during the day and coffee in the evening. You may be tempted to start with coffee, but you need to work toward that. Too much too soon and you'll crash and burn. Around day five, coffee during the day becomes an option and you'll be needing espresso at night. Days seven and eight? Espresso, all day and every day.
3. Don't Be Shy!
If you're attending Fantastic Fest, it's because you're a movie fan, a hobby that requires you to silently sit in the dark and shun others for two hours while you watch imaginary things projected onto a screen in front of you. This is not a hobby that trains you to be sociable, so many of us movie buffs are shy, soft spoken and afraid of crowds and meeting new people.
Lose this mentality. Now.
Fantastic Fest is a celebration of eclectic cinema, most of which belongs on the opposite end of the spectrum from the mainstream and appeals to the tiniest of niche audiences, AKA, you! Do you know what this means? The guy standing in line in front of you and the guy behind you all belong to the same niche! This is a gathering of people who like the same things you do. Don't look at your feet. Don't ignore others. Say hello. Make new friends. Strike up conversations. If you're one of those people who always has trouble in social situations because all you can talk about is movies, then you're finally in the right place. Embrace that.
4. Be Adventurous
Don't get attached to your schedule, folks. No matter how meticulously you plan your week, there will always be a few screenings you can't get into. Or you'll hear great buzz about another film that wasn't on your radar. Or you'll decide to forgo a movie and attend one of Fantastic Fest's nutty and amazing special events (the Fantastic Feud and the Fantastic Debates should not be missed). If you won't be malleable, if you try to stick to your carefully diagrammed schedule no matter what, you may miss something that you'll regret. Over-planning and fretting over your schedule is no way to have fun. Make your priorities and have a rough outline of what you want to do, but keep it loose and ready to change at a moment's notice. Let Fantastic Fest happen to you. Shake things up. Try things that are outside your normal comfort zone.
If you're not the party type, attend a party anyway. If you came for the horror films, give the French hitman comedy a shot. This week is a celebration of cinema and a celebration of being a fan of cinema. You can stick to routine any other week of the year. Try something special. Try something different. Try something dangerous. But not literally dangerous. Because that would be dangerous.
5. When In Doubt, Walk Out
Sometimes, being adventurous means you walk into a fetishistic Japanese gore comedy featuring a climactic battle between a mutant schoolgirl and a ten foot tall monster who shoots acidic milk from her breasts. There is an audience for this, but if you're like me, you do not belong to this very specific niche. Don't sit there and suffer: just stand up and walk out (unless you're a paid writer and you have to review it, you poor sucker).
Outside of that theater, there is plenty more to do, plenty more to see and plenty more people to meet. If you're not having fun, just leave... even if it means catching the disappointed glare of the attending filmmaker. You've learned something about your personal tastes and now you're a stronger person for it. Well done. Pat yourself on the back and dash across the street for a treat at Gourdough's. You've earned it.
Over this long Easter weekend, live performances, concerts, and a perfect way to chill before brunch make the case for filling up your social agenda. Jon Batiste and Chelsea Cutler come to the stage at famous local venues, and the Broadway musical Wicked takes its final bow. Check out the top seven things to do in Austin this weekend.
For a complete list of events, visit our calendar. Still need Easter brunch plans? That list is here.
Thursday, March 28
Stubb's Bar-B-Q presents Chelsea Cutler in concert
Pop musician Chelsea Cutler plays live at Stubb's Bar-B-Q. The Connecticut-based artist is best known for her songs such as “Growing Up Is Hard” and “What Everybody Wants.” Cutler makes a stop in Austin in support of her new album, Stellaria.
Broadway in Austin: Wicked
The musical sensation known by generations of fairy tale fans continues at Bass Concert Hall. Visitors will enjoy a production of the Broadway hit, Wicked, complete with the show’s iconic setlist and everyone’s favorite main character and anti-hero, Elphaba. Shows are scheduled through March 31.
ACL Live presents Jon Batiste in concert
Multi-instrumentalist and singer-songwriter Jon Batiste performs live for two consecutive nights at ACL Live at The Moody Theater. The “I Need You” artist comes to Austin in support of his new album, World Music Radio. Tickets for both nights are still available.
Cap City Comedy Club presents Maria Bamford
Revered comedian Maria Bamford is the latest resident guest performer at Capitol City Comedy Club. She’s widely known for her semi-autobiographical Netflix comedy series, Lady Dynamite, and for her appearance on popular Comedy Central series The Comedians of Comedy, alongside fellow stars Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifianakis, and Brian Posehn. Shows are scheduled through March 30.
Friday, March 29
Hill Country Galleria presents Live on the Lawn Concert Series
The Hill Country Galleria concludes its weekly outdoor concert series with a finale performance. Guests are encouraged to bring lawn chairs, dogs, and blankets for a more comfortable listening experience. Galleria restaurants like Café Blue and Amy’s Ice Creams will be open for guests to enjoy during the event. This week’s featured musical guest is Jo James. Admission is free and open to the public.
Ladies & Tangents: Camp Tangents
Podcast co-hosts, Jeri & Ciara, formerly the duo of Sad B*tch Island, bring their brand of adventurous storytelling to Stateside at the Paramount. Audience members can expect a live recording that explores their encounters in the woods, ranging from bear sightings to visits to the upside down. Upgrade to VIP tickets to enjoy an exclusive post-show meet-and-greet and photo with the hosts.
Saturday, March 30
Vino Vinyasa at Four Seasons Hotel Austin
Refreshing yoga and wine come together at Four Seasons Hotel Austin for an active and elevated alternative to traditional brunch. This 60-minute event will feature vinyasa-based yoga poses paired with fun wine facts to keep the late-morning flow going. At the end of class, attendees can expect a comparative wine tasting experience of two featured vinos. Guests will need to provide their own mats for this class. More Vino Vinyasa details are available on the event website.