Is it just because we're from Texas that we find the most intriguing Top Chef Seattle plot points involve the three chefs from Dallas? Danyele's adoption! Tesar's redemption. And that awful, awful mustache.
Episode 6, annoyingly titled, "Even the Famous Come Home" (famous people, just like us!), features real-life celebrity couple Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. Their northwestern roots bring them to Seattle, just in time for a freebie Top Chef spread. Well, nothing's free: They have to hang with Padma.
The quickfire challenge is a cringing ad for Stevia or Truvia or Nivea or some bogus sweetener that Padma eagerly shills, as does the guest judge, an octogenarian critic from North Dakota who became a momentary Internet sensation with a review she wrote of Olive Garden. (Of course, cheese-whiz Anthony Bourdain offered her a book deal.)
Old people on TV, aren't they cute? You can't understand a word they say.
The challenge, which also hawks the heck out of Prius (the winner gets one), has a few Dallas high points:
- All the judges must share one knife, which provokes this classy line from Josh Valentine: "I'm a pretty good sharer, as long as I'm done with it."
- Danyele McPherson makes the Days of Our Lives revelation that she's adopted.
- And the worst moment, the one we've been dreading, comes nine minutes in when Josh fulfills the nightmare that anyone in their right mind has about that mustache of his: He twirls it.
For the elimination, Anna and Chris show up pregnant and hungry for grub that reminds them of home. John Tesar says, a-ha, I'll make the chowder I learned from famed seafood chef Rick Moonen. Minutes later, Moonen shows up as guest judge. How fishy is that?
"People think it's nice to have a judge you worked for, but it's the opposite," Tesar says.
No worries. His chowder is a top contender; Moonen goo-goos over how good it is. But the other two Dallas chefs land at the bottom and only narrowly escape elimination.
Danyele, who is nervous as a puppy, bungles her wild boar. And the pork from self-styled swine expert @chefporkbelly is under-seasoned and over-portioned. Or as Chris Pratt says, "Josh's pork might not be great, but there's a lot of it."