Names in Lights

Cher announces plans to create musical autobiography of her life for Broadway

Cher announces plans to create musical autobiography of her life for Broadway

Step aside, you silly Spice Girls. A real diva is taking the stage with her new true-life musical.

It's Cher, bitches. You really haven't seen the last of her.

According to the industry professional's incredibly active Twitter account, she is indeed working hard on a Broadway-style musical that will depict multiple actresses portraying her at different stages in life. confirms there will be three primary "Cher" roles: one before she met Sonny, one throughout her long and successful singing career, and "wise" Cher (portrayed by Cher herself) as she is today.

Like Tony winners The Boy from Oz and Mamma Mia (and, yes, like the new Spice Girls musical, Viva Forever), the yet-to-be-named Cher musical will include Broadway versions of her endless hits like "Believe," "I've Got You Babe," "Jesse James,""Heart of Stone," "If I Could Turn Back Time," "Strong Enough,"... We could literally just sit and list them all here and imagine seeing them on stage. (What about "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves"! And "Half Breed"! This is amazing!)

No casting assignments have been announced as of yet, but the possibilities of drag queens and Cher impersonators filling those roles is definitely still a possibility. Because, seriously, who else could fill those tiny leather swimsuits better than a drag queen? Just imagine the headdresses!

While this might just sound like a revamped version of her recent string of sold-out Vegas shows at Cesar's Palace which were revamps of her multiple farewell tours, you can bet Cher is going to have a pretty tight rein on what the show becomes. After 50+ years in entertainment and 36 albums, she has been calling the shots on her award-winning career for quite some time.

The grand diva already has an Oscar for her role in Moonstruck. (Plus she was in Silkwood, Mermaids, The Witches of Eastwick and Mask. Clearly, she knows what she's doing.) She's got an Emmy for her recorded Cher: The Farewell Tour TV special (and six other nominations). And she's got a Best Dance Recording Grammy for 2000's "Believe" (with six other nominations). If she can pull a Tony out of whatever this musical becomes, she will join the illustrious pantheon of EGOT members who have all four prestigious awards.

Don't you just want Cher to have an EGOT? After all that she's been through — with Sonny, with Chaz, with... Burlesque — she just deserves it somehow.

Now the waiting game commences to see who will be cast in the roles of Young Cher and Younger Cher and what they will name a musical of this magnitude. (Turn Back Time? Dark Lady? Believe?) This is almost too much for my gay mind to handle.

Sorry, Spice Girls. You've got some serious competition. She's the original Sexy Spice. Now bow down and pay your respects.

Austin Photo Set: News_Mike_cher musical_june 2012_1
Cher Courtesy of
Austin Photo Set: News_Mike_cher musical_june 2012_2
Cher circa 1975 Courtesy of