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Relationship Advice

Pink Kisses answers: What to do when he won't commit?

Q: I've been seeing someone for around six months now. When we met it was instant, amazing fireworks. I felt like he pulled me out of so much unhappiness and was what I'd been waiting for. Lately though things have been very frustrating.

We had a conversation awhile back, because I was frustrated that we haven't moved things to the next level. He expressed to me that he likes me a lot, but a relationship was the last thing he was after, as he has just been out of a pretty bad one. He didn't take a relationship out of the cards, he just says "not now," and that he needs to be ready. Which I understand and respect.

But, I'm starting to wonder if what he says is complete and utter B.S. For the simple reason that, if I met someone I was really blown away by, my past wouldn't matter. Is this just me, or are my frustrations valid? Now, I don't want to dwell on this next point, because I do enough of that with a bowl of ice cream at night... but I am completely head over heels in love with him. Stupid, stupid love.

A:It's not just you. Your frustrations are 100 percent valid. If this guy doesn't see just how incredible you are, then you deserve more. If he really gets you and wants to be with you, he'll do just about anything for you. Wanting to be called your boyfriend will be a given.

Six months is quite a long time to be waiting around for someone to move to the next level with you. If he says a relationship is the last thing he wants right now, imagine how much longer he'll keep you waiting. Sure, you love his presence in your life, but you two want very different things right now. He might be giving you the run around, but it's also likely that he's being totally honest with you. You've done the right thing by listening and not forcing the issue, but don't make excuses for his feelings. Now it's time to be honest with yourself about what you truly want.

Ready to hear the next steps? Let go and start moving on ASAP. I know that must be incredibly tough to hear, but it's the best advice I can give you. If he doesn't come running after you with his head (finally) on straight about you and the relationship, then you're better off without him. Period.

Life's too short to waste on a guy who's almost everything you want. I promise.

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Want your question answered? Shoot an email to ellie {at} pinkkisses {dot} com to see what she has to say. Also check out how Ellie came to be in CultureMap's entreprenuer series.

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