Get off my lawn
Yes, I Quit Facebook: The utter pointlessness of these lovely tools
Almost seven years ago, at the prodding of my younger, much cooler sister, I joined Facebook. Like roughly six million other Americans, however, I quit Facebook recently. Invariably, the first question I receive is an incredulous "Why?" There's never a knowing nod or even an appreciation for the end result. Motive first. So I've found myself muddling through various levels of honesty when trying to relate the reasoning behind the move.
It began with a sort of existential breakdown. Naturally that sounds a bit dramatic, but it shouldn't. I simply found myself growing overtired with the general hubbub that came with being an active user of social media. These thoughts had long festered within me, but my defensive walls crashed when I signed up for Google+, the latest social media fixation. It was a few days into that experiment when I truly began to feel the utter pointlessness of these lovely tools.
Why do twenty to thirty close friends and another thousand not so bosom buddies need to know that I started sweating the second I left the office? Or that I just dominated my roommate at shuffleboard? What I'm chasing is that I began to realize I would rather foster real relationships instead of engaging in this weird, self-focused fetish universe.
Shortly after this realization took hold, I quit Facebook. I deleted my Twitter account and I left the Google+ universe. On the heels of these actions, I happened across an excerpt from this commencement speech by Jonathon Franzen. It obviously resonated, helping to clarify my own thoughts.
Now those that have seen the speech previously (or those that have taken the time to read it before proceeding) will realize that the speech references the tendency of the social media universe to skew toward a sort of narcissism.
(Aside: As a "writer," the irony of this is not lost on me. Many people in my life will readily attest, I have a tendency toward narcissism already. I admit that without equivocation, though I would argue that this might deserve an exception as a career development tool.)
This focus on the blatant narcissism of technology misses the poignant truth behind these desperate interactions. Social media is just the latest cry of humanity searching for understanding. When that douchebag is posting pics of his glistening pecs or that semi-slutty girl you knew in college is posting provocative missives on your wall, it's easy to misconstrue the intentions. What seems like "look at me" is really a poorly expressed "understand me." It's Forster's epigraph ad infinitum.
That exploration aside, the larger issue at play is that I now control both the input and the output of my connections. Unless someone decides to consistently comment herein, I don't have to see the poop schedules of friends' children or the rambling, messily punctuated and dreadfully misspelled diatribes of would be politico geniuses.
The counter argument, capably illustrated on CultureMap by Joe Faina, is that I could "block" or otherwise choose to ignore those that I find bothersome, that I could alter my use of the social media medium to fit my wishes. But even that sound argument irks me. It seems oddly dishonest. I accept these friends and hide them away from my life? Interactions, digital or otherwise, shouldn't be ignored or sloughed off without consequence.
I certainly wasn't ready to take the honest route and de-friend myself toward oblivion, so I guess you could say I took the path of least resistance. This way, I get to continue my self-loving existence in the peace of my own cloistered digital world. I won't be tweeting about my latest blog post or even asking you to like the link I share on Facebook.
I won't be attending your garage sale this weekend or distracting myself from work by reading the latest "clever" Malcolm Gladwell article you shared. My social media existence is officially one less thing you have to worry about. You can come see me here if and when you choose to. And if you feel like it, drop me a line. I'm not trying to be anti-social, just more genuine and productive with my digital interactions.
There's your motive, now get off my lawn.