hipstercrite says

10 predictions for Austin in 2013: Gosling sightings, subway systems and morePaul Qui

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Ryan Gosling falls in love with Austin during his stint filming TerrenceMalick's new film and is leaving Hollywood behind to become a musician/barbecuepit apprentice in East Austin.
Transmission Events vows to make Fun Fun Fun Fest every weekend for the entireyear.
Photo by Bill Sallans

From F1 to Lance Armstrong, 2012 was an enthralling year for Austin and its inhabitants. With the city growing by leaps and bounds, chances are 2013 will be just as action-packed with new developments, soap opera tales and calls for change.

To kick off the new year, here are 10 predictions for Austin in 2013.

1. Capitalizing on the public interest of the proposed Austin gondola transportation system, F1 creates a zip-line from the top of the Austonian straight to the Circuit of the Americas track. The zip-line becomes so popular that a sports event centered around it ends up garnering more attraction and money for Austin-based businesses than the F1 race.

2. Wanting to outdo C3's new plan to have ACL take place over two weekends, Transmission Events vows to make Fun Fun Fun Fest every weekend for the entire year.

Paul Qui joins the Austin barbecue legacy by opening a smokehouse called "Smo-qui Paul's."

3. Surprisingly, the population will rise from 824,205 in 2012 to 4,078,456 in 2013 when news spreads that Ryan Gosling fell in love with Austin during his stint filming Terrence Malick's new film and is leaving Hollywood behind to become a musician/barbecue pit apprentice in East Austin. Not surprisingly is that Travis County also sees a 200 percent increase in the female ages 18-25 demographic.

4. Proud of its Guinness World Record of being the fastest developer of condos in North America, and not wanting to lose its frequent status of "No. 1 City in the U.S." for living/retiring/dating/starting a business etc., the city council decides to abandon the "Keep Austin Weird" motto (much to the public's chagrin) and change it to "Keep Austin Sprawling."

5. With the influx of street construction in 2013, a sinkhole forms on Sixth Street and reveals an underground subway system unknown to the general public. The intricate subway actually has stops to not only the south and west sides of the city, but to UT campus as well, and a call by the citizens to continue service is made. The city's current MetroRail is abandoned by users, the railway goes back to strictly operating for freight trains, the stations become ruin porn/skate parks and the city erases the MetroRail from the history books.

No longer the favorite son of Austin, the Lance Armstrong Bikeway is renamed the Matthew McConaughey Pathway.

6. Coming off the success of winning Top Chef: Texas, and opening numerous new restaurants, Paul Qui joins the Austin barbecue legacy by opening a smokehouse called "Smo-qui Paul's" where patrons can dine on brisket tartare with coleslaw jam and pulled pork sushi topped with potato salad aioli and pinto bean custard.

7. With food trailers becoming a trend of yesteryear, food entrepreneurs begin serving food out of the trunks of their cars, not only to save on overhead, but because every square inch of open space has been rented out or built upon in central Austin. The city will eventually crack down, claiming that a stove top next to a pair of gym sneakers and several empty beer cans does not pass health code inspections.

8. When Trader Joe's opens in the Seaholm District, local hospitals reach capacity as citizens begin falling victim to Shaw Syndrome, a diseases know as the act of becoming dehydrated due to the loss of saliva caused by the inability to close one's mouth due to the shock of the inexpensive nature of Charles Shaw, a.k.a. Two Buck Chuck, wine.

9. No longer the favorite son of Austin, the Lance Armstrong Bikeway is renamed the Matthew McConaughey Pathway after the city's second most favorite son. In addition to bike paths, the trail will incorporate a nude "beach" on Town Lake where pot smoking and bongo playing are both legal and encouraged.

10. UT wins the National Championship. In related news, Austin experiences a freeze in August.

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Defensive Driving

Austin-based Tesla faces new probe focused on remote driving feature

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The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is investigating 2.6 million Teslas.

Federal regulators have opened an investigation into 2.6 million Teslas after reports of crashes involving the use of company technology that allows drivers to remotely command their vehicle to return to them, or move to another location, using a phone app.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration also said Tuesday, January 7 that Austin-based Tesla did not report any of the accidents. Tesla is under order to report crashes on “publicly accessible roads” involving vehicles being operated through its autonomous driving technology.

The new investigation follows another probe launched in October looking into the company's “Full Self-Driving” system after getting reports of crashes in low-visibility conditions, including one that killed a pedestrian. That investigation covers 2.4 million Teslas from the 2016 through 2024 model years.

Tesla did not respond to a request for comment from The Associated Press.

One driver filed a complaint after a crash while using Tesla's “Actually Smart Summon” technology and NHTSA is looking into another three similar incidents based on media reports, the NHTSA said. The agency is looking into 12 total incidents reported by users of the technology.

Each of the vehicles failed to detect posts and other parked vehicles, according to the NHTSA.

Regulators say the vehicles struck objects because the users had "too little reaction time to avoid a crash, either with the available line of sight or releasing the phone app button, which stops the vehicle’s movement.”

Shares of Tesla Inc. slid more than 4 percent in late afternoon trading Tuesday.

Musk has complained that U.S. regulations are too onerous and are holding back the development of self-driving cars. Ethics experts are worried that once President-elect Donald Trump takes office, Musk will push him to ease oversight of Tesla, which just suffered its first decline in annual sales in more than a decade.

Musk donated an estimated $250 million to Trump's presidential campaign and is a frequent guest at Trump's Mar-a-Lago, vetting cabinet nominees and meeting with foreign heads of state. Trump has put Musk in charge of an advisory group, the Department of Government Efficiency, that will recommend where to cut government expenses and staff at federal agencies and reduce regulation.

The NHTSA said it will look into the top speed that Teslas can reach when users deploy its “summons” technology, as well as restrictions on public roads and line of sights requirements. It also said it expects to check for any “connectivity delays" with the app that could result in increased stopping distance.

Tesla’s Model 3 owner’s manual says that its “summons” feature is designed for use only in parking lots and driveways on private property and is disabled on public roads.

The new probe covers 2016-2025 Model S and X vehicles, 2017-2025 Model 3, 2020-2025 Model Y equipped with Tesla's Full Self-Driving driver assistance system.

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