Keep it Weird
After seeing countless Olympians biting down on their hard-earned gold medals for photographers this week, we did some research in to the possibility of finding actual edible Olympic medals.
Of course, the internet will never let you down, and there are in fact plenty of recipes for edible Olympic treats. But, whoa, wait a Red Hot minute. There are so many other bizarre candy secrets just lurking on the web waiting to be discovered.
Seeking out bizarre and disgusting foods is a hobby of mine that I would not advise to others. I find myself compelled by my findings that often prove equal parts amazing and repulsive. It’s a perilous journey, fraught with disapproving girlfriends and upset stomachs, but its reward lies in being able to provide knowledge of our discoveries to others.
With that said, I give you some of the world’s most disgusting candies:
Harry Potter Cockroach Clusters: Who could forget the obscure reference to cockroach clusters in Harry Potter and thePrisoner of Azkaban? A crunchy candy shell with a delightful gummy body and surprisingly realistic looking wings. It's just how you never imagined cockroaches tasting. Unfortunately this treat has been discontinued. What a shame.
Gengis Khan Caramels: After conquering most of Eurasia and founding the Mongol Empire, Gengis Khan died with but one wish unfilled: a caramel candy named after him. Nearly 800 years later, his dream has come true. Unfortunately for Gengis Khan, all the good flavors were already taken by other famous conquerors, so he got stuck with Lamb Curry flavoring. Yep, Gengis Khan Caramels are a savory, sweet candy with a pronounced curry flavor.
Chocka Ca-Ca: It's not that this candy tastes particularly gross; I just find the packaging and presentation abhorrent. I mean, baby poop chocolate…in a diaper wrapper? Come on, candy manufacturers.
Zit Popper Candy: One of the great things about candy is its ability to instantly recall childhood memories. These don’t take you that far back, but who doesn’t want to remember the days when your hormones started raging and your face began breaking out? What better way to relive those awkward years than eating zit-shaped gummy candies with a gooey pus-like filling?
Dubbel Zout: Every time I sit down to savor a nice stick of black licorice, I like to have it heavily salted beforehand. Luckily, the Dutch have developed a lovely “double salt” licorice drop called Dubbel Zout. For when you can’t decide between savory and bitter.
Jane Jane Tasty Tuna Tidbits: Believe it or not, tuna IS the main ingredient for these "tasty" Tibits, and its joined by fellow newcomer flavor: soy sauce. The upside? This candy is, according to their website, “good for the brain development for everyone."
Formula Pee: It's pee-colored and tastes like lemonade!
Yaki Kaki Drops: The combination of unusual meat and sweet flavors remains a uniquely Asian trend. Need to get your oyster on the go? Yaki Kaki Drops allow you to enjoy this classic seaside flavor in a conveniently transportable hard candy form.
Hopefully, we'll get some more Olympic-inspired candy in place of these meat- and puberty-inspired "treats."
If for some reason you feel inspired to join me in mapping out our planet's most exotic food oddities, start online or in your own backyard. You never know what you might be able to find in the aisles at Toy Joy or Big Top or even at Fiesta or MT Supermarket.
My rule is: If it sounds unusual, it's probably worth trying. Once.