From My Perspective

Funniest Person in Austin Ramin Nazer is now one of Austin Monthly's mosteligible bachelors

Comedian Ramin Nazer.
Photo courtesy of Ramin Nazer
Nazer (2nd to the left) amongst his fellow "fight-chelors."

In May, Austin stand-up comedian Ramin Nazer claimed the coveted crown of Funniest Person in Austin for 2012, joining an illustrious group of smiling faces on the wall at Cap City Comedy Club. Now Nazer is joining another elite group of Austinites: Austin Monthly's Most Eligible Bachelors.

The group of 10 accomplished Austinites on this year's list will be up for bid at the Bachelor Issue Release Party at the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum on Thursday, July 26, which just happens to be Nazer's 28th birthday as well.

This annual unveiling of the magazine's picks for the choicest cuts of man meats in town is always a fun night of partying and cheeky reverse objectification. But calm down, it's all for a good cause: This year's recipient of the raised funds is Austin Pets Alive! Plus, you never know if someone is going to walk away finding true love.

Like the majority of the Austin comedy community, we were curious how the 2012 FPIA champion is reacting to his inclusion in this impressively elite crowd. Never one to let us down, the endearingly self-deprecating comic provided CultureMap with his unique — but always hysterical — analysis of the whole she-bang.

CultureMap: Hi, Ramin. Congrats on having such a banner year. How does it feel to be chosen as one of Austin's most eligible bachelors for 2012, and how does it compare to winning FPIA?

Ramin Nazer: It feels good! Seratonin and dopamine levels are currently optimal. Positive labels are always flattering. Also, I have this "You're NOT worthless!" furnace I have to be shoveling ego coals into at all times, so any type of positive attention is good for that. You don't want too many coals, though; otherwise you may become disconnected with reality.

Of course with any sort of list, like with Rolling Stone's "Top 100 Guitarists of All Time," there's going to be questioning of why some people are where they are on the list. "Why HIM? Maybe the Top 500 but the Top 10!?" It's all just for fun and charity, though.

FPIA was more important to me because it's more personal. I feel that comedy defines me more than Guy Who Doesn't Currently Have a Girlfriend/Wife.

CM: You are, in fact, an eligible bachelor though, right? You're not dating anyone or married or otherwise engaged?

RN: Yup. I still wear t-shirts from Target with Oscar the Grouch on them, my Internet history never gets cleared, I keep everything in plain sight on my desktop, and I can leave my phone off for hours at a time without getting in trouble.

CM: Looking at your fellow bachelors, how do you feel you would stack up against them in a battle to the death?

RN: I'd definitely be the first to die, unless I convinced them that we should team up against whomever is making us battle to the death. I don't think we have any fight-chelors on the list this year, but some of them are in amazing shape and get up every morning at 5 a.m. to work out by choice. There are some real MEN on that list.

CM: What type of individual are you hoping might take notice of your inclusion in this group and bid for you in the auction on Thursday night?

RN: Well, the official bachelor date auction package I come with is a private Capital Cruises boat ride with fajitas. So, someone who likes boats and water and fajitas would be the ideal individual. Also, hopefully someone who is not dumb or mean.

For a deeper answer than that, I think everyone on Earth is looking for the same thing as far as "mates" go. Someone who gets you, looks nice, smells nice, someone you can learn a lot from, take care of and makes life better. Everything else — whether it's liking the same movies or music or sports or art or religion — is all just a derivative of that.

I don't think it's a good idea for men or women or transgender or genderless people (I AM BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT!) to make their life solely about finding a mate. Focus on what makes you happy. If you find someone while you're doing that, then great! If not, then that's still better than faking it with someone that's not right. I might just be a hermit psychopath though...

CM: Speaking of which, is your selection by Austin Monthly a positive reflection on the other single stand-up comedians in Austin as an eligible dating population?

RN: For now. I guess I have the power to change that though, don't I?

CM: What are the chances this whole situation is going to appear in your stand-up routine later down the road?

RN: Everything always does in a way sooner or later... But you know, "If it don't fit, don't force it."

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You can see Ramin Nazer perform every Friday at ColdTowne Theatre as well as at the following upcoming performances: July 28 at The New Movement Theater and July 31 - August 4 at Cap City Comedy Club.

The Austin Monthly Bachelor Issue Release Party and Date Auction happens Thursday, July 26 from 7:30 p.m. - 11 p.m. at the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum.

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Sonic Boost

Musical gala spotlights 20 Austin acts including Nemegata, Quentin Arispe

Photo courtesy of Spaceflight Records

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On January 18, charitable organization Sonic Guild will award $150,000 in grants to 20 deserving local bands and solo artists at the Sonic Guild Ball. For the first time ever, tickets are available to the public for this ceremony and show.

This is the 11th year this organization has supported the Austin music scene, though readers might know the organization by its previous name, Black Fret. This public charity is headquartered here in Austin and is on a mission to support artists here (as well as in Seattle and parts of Colorado, now) with a publicly available annual membership.

In return for annual dues, members get to see a bunch of shows and attend private events; and their memberships support local music with grants. Over these years, the group has awarded grants and payments to local musicians, venues, and music businesses totaling over $6 million.

This year's grant recipients are:

Rob Baird
West 22nd
Cactus Lee
The Point
DAIISTAR
Parker Woodland
Nemegata
Deer Fellow
Elijah Delgado
Grocery Bag
Quentin Arispe
Shelley King
Geto Gala
Next of Kin
promqueen
Lew Apollo
S. L. Houser
Harvest Thieves
TV's Daniel
Stella and the Very Messed

These artists were selected through a year-long process where Sonic Guild members, advisors, and prior grant recipients nominated, lobbied for, and finally voted on their favorite artists.

These 20 winners will receive not only grants at the upcoming Sonic Guild Ball, but also mentoring, and will be paid for any performance they do for Sonic Guild audiences in the future. In fact, half of the awarded bands will be performing at the ball itself.

In between performances there will be videos and live testimonials telling the stories of how past grant winners have used their funds to boost their music careers with album recordings, tours, instruments, and more.

“Naming these 20 2024 Sonic Guild Artists puts us at over 200 individual acts we have recognized with a Sonic Guild grant,” said co-founder and Executive Director of Sonic Guild Austin Matt Ott in a press release. “Every member that joins Sonic Guild sends a powerful message to our city’s musicians that their contributions to our culture matters. We must support our music scene as our great city grows to make sure it thrives for generations to come.”

The 2024 Sonic Guild Ball will be held at the Long Center for the first time ever. Individual public tickets are available online and range between $24 and $130 depending on the seat.

Austinites can also become members of Sonic Guild and have access to more than 30 live shows this next season, and will get to vote for the lucky artists that will be awarded with grants at next year's Sonic Guild Ball.

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