digital love

Can absence really make the heart grow fonder? Don't worry, there's an app forthat: Pillow Talk, Couple Fire, Path and Find My Friends

I have done my fair share of dating, and after some time, I started to wonder ifmaybe dating is actually more difficult than a long distance relationship.
Pillow Talk: Each person puts on a ring sensor when they go to sleep at night.Once one person falls asleep, their significant other's pillow starts to glowsoftly, thanks to a flat fabric panel that goes inside the pillowcase. Here'sthe kicker. Because the panel syncs up with your S.O.'s ring, when you put yourhead on the pillow, you can hear the other person's heart beat.

My first exposure to long-distance relationships (LDRs) was my freshman year of college. I lived in an all-girls dormitory, which meant that more than once, I had to awkwardly tip-toe past one of my many lovelorn neighbors as they cooed in the phone to their boyfriends who were attending a different university in a faraway land.

As I walked by, I felt pity for these girls. The man they loved was hundreds, maybe thousands, of miles away. That’s tough. Additionally, this adolescent romance was probably going to end as soon as one of them locked eyes with a good-looking co-ed after one too many keg stands at the Kappa Sig house. That’s tougher.

Teen romances aside, I have always been a big anti-long-distance-relationships kind of gal. They're just not ideal. You can't see that person whenever you want. I would imagine that jealousy would be more prevalent. And “sexting” is never as good as the real thing. Period.

Which is why it is slightly shocking that I now find myself in one of these dreaded arrangements. Before you say anything, let me defend myself by saying that I tried to avoid this at all costs. I have been in relationships before where the other person moved away, and while I cared about them, I saw it as a deal breaker and wished them well on their way out. However, I have done my fair share of dating, and after some time, I started to wonder if maybe the dating part is actually more difficult than the long distance relationship part.

Hear me out. The more you date, the more you are convinced that people suck. Not all of them. Just the ones you're dating. So, when you find a guy (or gal) who doesn't suck (and is, in fact, all kinds of awesome), but he or she lives in another city, you begin to question your previously held beliefs about LDRs.

Which is what I did. And which is why I am now dating a guy who lives in Dallas. In terms of long distance, ours is really an insignificant amount of distance. I say this because I have a friend who dated a guy who lived in Asia for a year and a half. Asia. A year and a half. That’s love. Now, much like how all fairytales end, he showed up on her doorstep one day and proposed (AWW!). Point is, I could have it worse.

However, while mine is a minor case of long-distance-relationship-itis, it still kind of stinks not having my guy here all the time. We Skype. We call. We text. We email. We even tweet. As far as the gamut of communication goes, I think we’ve got it covered. And in this effort to find every way possible to stay in touch with my beau, I started to think about what else is available for people who are trying to make their long distance love last.

Like any good journalist, I did some in-depth research (Google, Wikipedia, Twitter, etc.) and found out that there are actually quite a few things out there to sustain LDR crowd. In the spirit of the season and keeping that love alive, I wanted to share my findings with my fellow long-distance lovers.

Pillow Talk

Created by Scottish designer Joanna Montgomery, Pillow Talk is a device designed for the LDR couple. Here’s how it works: Each person puts on a ring sensor when they go to sleep at night. Once one person falls asleep, their significant other's pillow starts to glow softly, thanks to a flat fabric panel that goes inside the pillowcase. Here's the kicker. Because the panel syncs up with your significant other's ring, when you put your head on the pillow, you can hear the other person's heart beat.

My immediate thought when I came across this was... bizarre. But after watching the promotional video on the website, I actually found it to be quite sweet. That being said, I can't help but laugh imaging what my boyfriend's reaction would be upon me suggesting that we try this.

Couple Fire

Still in invite-only beta release, Couple Fire is an online application that serves as a social network just for you and your sweetie. It has a couple's dashboard where you can post questions, quizzes, friendly reminders or just sweet messages. It also has an alerts function, to remind you about important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. The online app’s creator, Emily Marshall, says that it’s basically a private Facebook, just for couples.

First of all, I’d like to point out that the app’s original name was “SnuggleCloud.” I think we can all agree the name change was a move in the right direction. However, I feel like you can do most of this stuff over all of the existing social networks. Then again, I know I don’t feel comfortable writing lovey-dovey stuff on my guy’s Facebook wall. So, I suppose I can see the value of having a personal online space for you and your partner to be as mushy as your hearts desire.

Path

Path is a unique photo sharing app, marketed as the “smart journal that helps you share life with the ones you love.” Unlike other photo apps out there, Path gives you several sharing options. You can post both photos and videos, and you can choose whether to make them public, so all your Path friends can see, or private, meant to viewed only by those you choose. There is also a neat comment feature so that your significant other can tell you how adorable you look in that sombrero and fake moustache that you wore for your friend’s fiesta-themed birthday party.

This is one of my favorite apps of the bunch. One of the worst aspects of the LDR is not getting to experience things with your guy or gal. Path allows you to capture those moments and share them virtually with the one you love. It may not be the same as them being there, but it’s probably the next best thing.

Find My Friends

Developed for the iPad and iPhone, Find My Friends is an app that does exactly what it says: it locates your friends, families and, of course, your significant other. Once you download the app for free from the App Store, you simply send a request to your lover. After they accept it, you can both locate each other at any time.

Yes, this is basically a GPS tracker for people that you want to stalk. Which is why I was surprised when my guy told me to download it. No, we aren’t the crazy stalker types. In fact, it was more of a joke at first. But sometimes when I'm bored, I will actually find myself using it. There are two reasons for this: 1.) I am amazed by the fact that I can track down someone's exact location; and 2.) there is a part of me that honestly just likes seeing where he is. It's weirdly comforting. Besides, it’s not stalking if he’s your boyfriend... right?

As humorous and/or ridiculous as all of these things might seem, I'm not surprised they exist. Relationships are hard and long-distance relationships are harder. So, it makes sense that people would try to develop tools, apps and online networks that could make it all a bit easier. For now, I'm content with Skype and my weird stalker app. I'm also content with my boyfriend. He is pretty great, and definitely worth all that pesky long-distance nonsense.

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work it out

Hula your way to a good time: Hoop dancing lets adults act like kids again

Hoop Church at Hot Mama's
Hoop Church class
Hoop Church Sundays

On Sunday afternoons at Hot Mama's Cafe on East 6th Street, a group of people gather for what they call “church.” There's no choir, pews or sermon — instead, a large amp plays dance music while men and women with big smiles greet each other while performing both simple and intricate dance moves with hula hoops.

There is a pastor; Michelle Amaranth, and ordained minister, is also jokingly called the “minister of hooping." Like a more traditional church, a sense of camaraderie and peacefulness pervades the space and newcomers are welcomed with open arms.

Hoop Church, as it's officially known, has been hosted by Hot Mama's for about two years now but existed in other spaces for at least three years prior to that. While the hooping community has been around in Austin for almost eight years, it's become more visible over the past three. CultureMap Austin's own launch party had a space for guests to try out hula hoops on the dance floor, and the City of Austin's New Year's Eve celebration featured dancers with lit up hoops entertaining the crowd at Auditorium Shores.

From fitness to circus arts to meditation to choreographed dance, the hooping community in Austin embraces a diversity of desires to pick up a hoop.

While traditional hula hooping is the foundation for this modern trend — think of all of those films of surprised housewives in the 50s slinging a hoop around their waists — this new iteration encompasses a much wider range of intents, movements and rhythms. From fitness to circus arts to meditation to choreographed dance, the hooping community in Austin embraces a diversity of desires to pick up a hoop.

Bethany Lynn Corey, a graduate student at the University of Texas who creates theatre for children under five, says she got into hooping because, “I needed some kind of artistic release and hooping offered me that. I found it to about a great community of people and that keeps me passionate about it.”

When asked why so many other people are also becoming passionate about hooping, she says, “It takes a lot of people back to their childhood in a really fun way and you're allowed to play as an adult.” Hoopers may have serious day jobs but Corey says, “When you come out hooping you may put on gaucho pants and put a flower in your hair... you have an interesting dichotomy [between a day job and hooping].”

Some adults may have embarrassing childhood memories of being forced to wrangle a cheap, flimsy hula hoop around her waist, of it falling again and again, of the sheer frustration of not being able to keep the damn thing up. For those people, the thought of seeking out a hula hoop might seem absurd. Why suffer the humiliation again?

According to hooping enthusiasts, the benefits are enough to outweigh the initial fear. On Hooping.org Genevieve Wachutak states, “There’s a particular joy in hula hooping: feeling the rhythm of the hoop pulling your body around, falling into beat with the music and letting it extend through you into the hoop. Not to mention the health benefits of hooping. It is terrific aerobic exercise, develops core strength, and increases flexibility... hula hooping is also a form of emotional and psychological therapy — as both a stress reliever and in developing a positive self-image.”

The Hooping Life, a new documentary, affirms this. One woman states, “I really think hooping saved my life,” while another woman talks about the hooping program she's set up to serve at-risk youth in her community. This sense of a shared community explains why the hoopers at Hot Mama's call it “church;” in an age of secularism, hooping provides an inclusive, joyful place where people can come together to connect.

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Beginner's classes offer novices a safe and non-judgmental introduction to hoop dance. HOOPCiRCLE leads classes at both Galaxy Dance Studio and Alisa's Dance Academy, and Cedar Stevens also offers beginner's classes at the Vortex Theatre's outdoor yard. For those who would like to learn more before trying out a class, www.hooping.org offers information, videos and a how-to guide for making your own hoop.

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