Relationship Advice

Pink Kisses answers: Men, here's how to shake that ex-girlfriend who can't let go

Ellie Scarborough

Ellie Scarborough and Amy Lynch are two bodacious bombshells locked & loaded with intelligent answers to all your questions about dating, love, sex, breakups and all things in between. Ellie launched a community in 2010 to help girls get through heartbreak, giving them tips, tools and inspiration to keep them moving forward without looking back. Now, she and professional partner-in-crime(s of the heart) Amy are lending their expertise to CultureMap, solving the problems of the 512's lovelorn one no-BS answer at a time.

Males of the world: this is a teachable moment.

I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of two years as a result of tensions that built up when I began attending law school. I literally don't have time to go anywhere 20 minutes from campus, much less three hours (which is how far away she lives). Since then, I've started dating an awesome girl in my class and my ex has been all over it -- facebook stalking, the whole nine. She's really upset, but even though I don't feel like she has any right to be, I also don't want to be a jerk. What should I do?

Males of the world, take note: this is a teachable moment. First of all, kudos to you for actually giving a damn how your ex-girlfriend feels even though you've moved on to someone new.

If you're trying to act like her buddy even though your affections are no longer directed at her.. stop it. Just stop it.

But let us stop you in your tracks before you go too far down the wrong path, thinking you're being nice when you're really just making things worse. If your ex is still in love with you -— and it sounds like she is — she's likely over-analyzing every move you make. Every time you have any sort of contact with her, no matter what the content is, you're pressing a bruise and refusing to let it heal.

So if you're still friends with her on facebook... if you're still responding to an occasional text or tweet... if you're trying to act like her buddy even though your affections are no longer directed at her.. stop it. Just stop it. You're giving her false hope, and therefore, you are wasting her time.

Sure, you're going to feel like a jerk when you de-friend her. You can lessen the blow, though, by sending her a well-written, thoughtful but succinct email letting her know that you think it's best if you cut all ties with her. Explain that it's the healthiest thing for both of you — that although she's a fantastic person, it just didn't work out, and she deserves to move on and live an amazing life without you in it. Explain that you'll be severing your online connections with her as soon as you hit "send" on the email, and that it's no fault of hers; it's just what you both need in order to move on.

Wish her well. Be nice about it, and be gone.

Then, do both of you another favor. Change your privacy settings so she can't torture herself with knowledge of your every move. The more you limit her access to you, the greater a favor you'll be doing her. Again, it's the kindest thing you can do. If you were with her for two years, you clearly saw something in her of value. You obviously thought she was a person worth spending time with. Now that your life has changed and your relationship hasn't survived, if you care about her at all as a human being, you'll set her free, and you'll do it like a gentleman.

Want your question answered? Shoot an email to culturemap {at} pinkkisses {dot} com to see what the girls have to say.

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Ambitious Bathing

Meow Wolf founder's immersive Austin bathhouse opens waitlist

Photo courtesy of Submersive

A concept rendering of one of the spaces inside Submersive, set to open Summer 2027.

Sometime in the summer of 2027, a door will open at 901 Barton Springs Rd. that leads into an ancient Roman bathhouse — if it were merged with a neuroscientist's fever dream. That's the vision behind Submersive, a 20,000-square-foot immersive art bathhouse from the co-founder of Meow Wolf. The Barton Springs spot is set to debut as the brand's flagship location, and a founding membership waitlist is now available.

The concept comes from Corvas Brinkerhoff, who helped start Meow Wolf, a trippy immersive art company with experiences currently dotting the country. More than a fun place to see weird art, Meow Wolf is a giant puzzle or story for the visitor, allowing deep engagement that can stretch several multi-hour visits. Until the bathhouse opens, Austinites will have to travel to Houston or Grapevine to see a Meow Wolf project.

Now, Brinkerhoff is aiming to extend the Meow Wolf ethos to wellness, fusing hydrotherapy traditions that date back centuries with original art installations, cutting-edge technology, and the science of human consciousness.

The result, according to Brinkerhoff, isn't just a spa. "We're building a portal," he said in a recent press release, echoing language from other Meow Wolf projects.

It might sound like your standard tech marketing speak, but Meow Wolf has demonstrated again and again that its designers know how to make something awesome.

Guests at Submersive will move through 12 distinct indoor and outdoor environments, each one playing with different senses. Light, sound, and water are carefully calibrated to produce what the company describes as "profound and lasting state change." Every traditional thermal bathing modality at Submersive, including dry sauna, steam room, hot bath, and cold plunge, has been rethought from the ground up through the lens of transformation, body, mind, and spirit.

“The bathhouse has always been a place where people go to reset and reconnect," said Brinkerhoff. "We’re taking that ancient impulse and giving it the full power of immersive art and modern neuroscience. ... For example, we are building the world's most interesting and engaging sauna among many other fantastic experiences within the space. We are creating not just an entertainment experience or a spa experience, but access to an environment that takes people to an elevated state change.”

The choice of Austin for the flagship location was deliberate, as this city is known for its creative energy, outdoor culture, and appetite for all things weird. Tucked into surrounding green spaces in the Bouldin Creek neighborhood, this experience should feel like arriving at a luscious, luxurious spa — but many visitors will likely time their psychedelics to start hitting as they walk through the door. Sorry, "portal."

“Submersive was made for this city and this location, steps from Barton Springs, feels almost destined. We’re bringing something the world has never seen before to the heart of Austin," said Brinkerhoff.

Before the doors even officially open more than a year from now, Submersive is inviting Austinites to get ahead of the crowd. The company has launched a Founding Membership Waitlist, offering early joiners priority access to reservations, introductory pricing, and what the company describes as a special role in shaping the experience. Spots are limited, and given the buzz the concept is already generating, early interest will be high.

For a city that has seen its share of wellness trends come and go, Submersive represents something genuinely different in ambition, if not yet in execution. The proof, of course, will come when the first guests step through that portal in 2027, but the premise alone — a world-class spa from the minds behind Meow Wolf — is enough to start getting cautiously excited about.