Relationship Advice

Pink Kisses answers: Men, here's how to shake that ex-girlfriend who can't let go

Ellie Scarborough

Ellie Scarborough and Amy Lynch are two bodacious bombshells locked & loaded with intelligent answers to all your questions about dating, love, sex, breakups and all things in between. Ellie launched a community in 2010 to help girls get through heartbreak, giving them tips, tools and inspiration to keep them moving forward without looking back. Now, she and professional partner-in-crime(s of the heart) Amy are lending their expertise to CultureMap, solving the problems of the 512's lovelorn one no-BS answer at a time.

Males of the world: this is a teachable moment.

I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of two years as a result of tensions that built up when I began attending law school. I literally don't have time to go anywhere 20 minutes from campus, much less three hours (which is how far away she lives). Since then, I've started dating an awesome girl in my class and my ex has been all over it -- facebook stalking, the whole nine. She's really upset, but even though I don't feel like she has any right to be, I also don't want to be a jerk. What should I do?

Males of the world, take note: this is a teachable moment. First of all, kudos to you for actually giving a damn how your ex-girlfriend feels even though you've moved on to someone new.

If you're trying to act like her buddy even though your affections are no longer directed at her.. stop it. Just stop it.

But let us stop you in your tracks before you go too far down the wrong path, thinking you're being nice when you're really just making things worse. If your ex is still in love with you -— and it sounds like she is — she's likely over-analyzing every move you make. Every time you have any sort of contact with her, no matter what the content is, you're pressing a bruise and refusing to let it heal.

So if you're still friends with her on facebook... if you're still responding to an occasional text or tweet... if you're trying to act like her buddy even though your affections are no longer directed at her.. stop it. Just stop it. You're giving her false hope, and therefore, you are wasting her time.

Sure, you're going to feel like a jerk when you de-friend her. You can lessen the blow, though, by sending her a well-written, thoughtful but succinct email letting her know that you think it's best if you cut all ties with her. Explain that it's the healthiest thing for both of you — that although she's a fantastic person, it just didn't work out, and she deserves to move on and live an amazing life without you in it. Explain that you'll be severing your online connections with her as soon as you hit "send" on the email, and that it's no fault of hers; it's just what you both need in order to move on.

Wish her well. Be nice about it, and be gone.

Then, do both of you another favor. Change your privacy settings so she can't torture herself with knowledge of your every move. The more you limit her access to you, the greater a favor you'll be doing her. Again, it's the kindest thing you can do. If you were with her for two years, you clearly saw something in her of value. You obviously thought she was a person worth spending time with. Now that your life has changed and your relationship hasn't survived, if you care about her at all as a human being, you'll set her free, and you'll do it like a gentleman.

Want your question answered? Shoot an email to culturemap {at} pinkkisses {dot} com to see what the girls have to say.

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Willie forever

Willie Nelson receives prestigious honor and inaugural endowment at UT Austin

Photo by Pamela Springsteen

Willie Nelson will receive the LBJ Liberty & Justice for All Award at a gala this spring.

Willie Nelson has earned countless awards for his seven-decade music career, but the legend is also well known for his activism — particularly in the areas of farming and food security. In recognition of his longtime advocacy work, the LBJ Foundation will present its most prestigious honor, the LBJ Liberty & Justice for All Award to Nelson this spring.

The award will be presented at a special gala tribute dinner on Friday, May 12, 2023, which in turn will benefit the newly established Willie Nelson Endowment for Uplifting Rural Communities at the LBJ School of Public Affairs, a part of The University of Texas at Austin.

According to a release, the endowment will fund research and student fellowships focused on sustainable agriculture, eliminating hunger, resilient energy, sustainable water, and natural disaster recovery to benefit rural and farm communities.

Along with Neil Young and John Mellencamp, Nelson organized the first Farm Aid concert in 1985 to raise funds for struggling farmers, which has since raised over $70 million for those who own and operate family farms throughout the United States. He has also helped raise millions around disaster relief, for families of the victims of the 9/11 attacks and for veterans, as well as working toward environmental and animal advocacy, and voting rights. His Luck Family Foundation provides financial grant assistance and other resources to artists, organizations, and programs in need, donating proceeds from Luck Reunion events to Farm Aid and other longtime charity partners like the Texas Food & Wine Alliance.

“Willie Nelson is a national treasure who gained fame through his sheer musical talent and won hearts as someone who truly cares about the lives of his fellow Americans," says Larry Temple, Chairman of the LBJ Foundation Board of Trustees, via release. "A product of rural Texas, Willie has never forgotten where he comes from. His longtime efforts to raise money and awareness for family farmers through Farm Aid and numerous other endeavors to help those in need throughout his career make him a true inspiration.”

The dinner will honor Nelson's lifelong support for rural communities, embodying President Lyndon Baines Johnson's commitment to public service, particularly in the areas of farming and food security. With their similar backgrounds as rural Texans, both President Johnson and Nelson shared a keen awareness of the struggles of those who work in the agricultural industry.

“The bounty of the earth is the foundation of our economy," President Johnson shared in a 1965 Special Message to Congress on Agriculture. "Programs in every aspect of our nation’s life depend on the abundant harvests of our farms.”