real talk
Sex and the Capital City: On wanting to give away the milk — but not yourdignity
I’m undergoing a bit of a dry spell, and it’s time to go to the mattresses.
Based on some recent encounters, I’ve noticed a trend amongst the single men of my age bracket. We meet. We flirt. We make plans. And bing, bang, boom — things fizzle before they’ve even begun.
And I think I’ve figured it out. As many of the ladies in my age bracket category start pairing off and making babes, those of us on the other end of the spectrum are in a bit of a pickle.
Because while we may not be “gallivanting” about every night, we’re not all ready to rush to the altar anytime soon, either. And the men of our generation may not have gotten the memo. They’re scared from the get-go that we’re all marriage-hungry, counting down the days until we can change our name and start popping out babies.
As many of the ladies in my age bracket category start pairing off and making babes, those of us on the other end of the spectrum are in a bit of a pickle.
Many women are like this — that’s true. I know many single girls (all of whom will remain nameless) who have Pinterest boards filled with wedding inspiration. Girls who bookmark wedding dresses that’ll serve as future prototypes. Girls who pick out engagement rings, regardless of male companionship.
But for every girl that’s lustfully window-shopping at Tiffany’s, there’s a girl that’s frustratingly dealing with a dude who’s failure to simply be present has got us pulling out our hair.
It seems that to many young men, women exist solely in the dichotomy of “DTF vs. MRS.” But does it have to be that way? Can’t a single girl just want a nice meal and a little bit of casual make-out time? Heck, even an overnight stay, were things to go well?
Mom, if you’re reading this, don’t be alarmed. I’m not buying prophylactics at Costco or anything. But I think it’s silly that a girl, especially a girl past a certain age, has to (pardon the expression), pussyfoot around. Sometimes, we just want to get some action. GIRLS HAVE NEEDS TOO, Y’ALL.
I guess it goes back to the age-old double standard of player vs. whore. A guy who’s shopping around can add as many notches on his belt without blinking an eye. A drunken hookup on "Dirty Sixth," and it’s no big thing. And while there’s no doubt in my mind that a man of questionable means would most certainly escort me home after a night on the town, is it too wrong to just want to have the best of both worlds?
Can’t we find a middle ground between one-night-stand and long-term relationship? It’s got to exist. But instead, we sit here over-analyzing each and every bit of correspondence, because a thoughtful text message before 11 p.m. is the modern day equivalent of a steak dinner and a bottle of Cabernet.
So help me out, folks. Can’t we all come to some sort of agreement here? I’m not looking to be walked all over or anything, but can’t we be (pun intended) adult about the whole thing? Because I’m getting frustrated, and in more than one way.