Emotional Hardbody Answers

Dealing with curmudgeons who play by their own rules at the movies

Dear Emotional Hardbody,

My boyfriend Perry and I went to a movie the other night. Before the movie started, we were occasionally whispering comments to each other during the trailers when this curmudgeon sitting next to Perry leaned in and said, “Excuse me.” We both looked at him, thinking that he was going to ask us a question like “Is this the right theater for Gravity?” His glare made us realize he wasn’t asking a question at all. He was reprimanding us for not being silent during the trailers.

Both Perry and I thought this was ridiculously rude of him. We would have understood getting barked at had we been talking during the feature presentation, but a whispered comment here and there during the trailers doesn’t violate the generally accepted code of movie etiquette as far as we’re aware. Since the movie was about to begin, we let the whole thing go. Besides, we didn’t want to risk making the guy go all Gran Torino on us.

About halfway through the film, the curmudgeon whips out his cell phone and starts obsessively checking the score of the University of Texas football game that had just kicked off. Even if I agreed that whispering an occasional remark during the previews was some sort of crime (which I don’t), it’s way more distracting and rude to stream ESPN on your cell phone during the feature.

In addition to being rude and having supersonic hearing, the guy apparently had a bionic eye, too. He spotted Perry’s Longhorns tee shirt in the dark and that prompted him to offer to keep his phone propped up so he and Perry both could keep an eye on the game. This was an offer Perry couldn’t refuse. For the rest of the movie, the two made quite the odd couple, quietly celebrating and bemoaning the ups and downs of the game together. By the time the credits rolled, the old guy was all smiles, shook Perry’s hand and apologized for snapping at us during the trailers.

On the way home from the theater, Perry and I had an argument about the whole episode. My take: the old guy was one of those people who believes he gets to decide what the rules are and to whom they apply. He, of course, is always exempt. When the old guy whipped out his cell phone and asked Perry if he wanted to join him in keeping an eye on the game, I think Perry should have called him out on his hypocrisy, or at the very least given him the cold shoulder.

Perry’s take: the old guy had a conversion of sorts precisely because Perry was a nice guy about it. I don’t buy this for a second. Sure, Perry's a nice guy, but I guarantee you the next time the old man deems someone else is breaking the rules, he’s going to be just as rude to them as he was to us.

Can you settle this argument for Perry and me? What’s the Emotional Hardbody take on the curmudgeon's behavior?

Signed,

No Patience for Grumpy Old Men

Dear Grumpy,

Can you handle the truth? I agree completely with your take on the man and the rudeness of his behavior, but I disagree with your blaming Perry for anything. Why is it Perry’s job to read your mind and fight your battles? Just as you have a right to decide how to interpret a situation and then decide how to handle it, so does Perry. Perry apparently thought that the old man came around on his own, so nothing needed to be said. You thought he still needed to be told. You were sitting right there. Why didn’t you tell him?

An Emotional Hardbody doesn’t play the “damsel in distress” role. She speaks her mind and stands up for herself. You did neither. If you had something to say about the hypocrisy of this man's actions, it would have been completely reasonable for you to let him know your thoughts. But it’s not fair for you to decline to do so and then be mad at Perry because he didn’t either.

The moral of the story? Rather than waiting around for Superman to save the day, make like Wonder Woman and be your own superhero.

Best,

Emotional Hardbody

unspecified

Study This

Austin is the No. 7 most educated city in the country, says Forbes

Photo by Dan Dennis on Unsplash

UT Austin gets a lot of praise, but this study includes degrees from everywhere — as long as the recipient lives in Texas.

Austin and San Antonio don't get all the same opportunities as the even larger cities in Texas, but in a recent study they prove they're prepared. Both made the top 10 in Forbes Advisor's "Most Educated Cities In The U.S." list: San Antonio was No. 4, and Austin was No. 7.

Other Texas cities made the list of 100, but some fell surprisingly far behind. Dallas made No. 20, followed by Houston at No. 79 and Fort Worth at No. 93. In some even more surprising twists, the smaller city of Garland was the fourth in Texas at No. 26, and El Paso, Corpus Christi, and Laredo all beat Houston.

This study compared the 100 largest cities in the country as of the 2021 census, using metrics like high school dropout rate, percentage of adults age 25 and older with some college, but no degree, undergraduate college completion rate, and percentage of adults age 25 and older with an advanced degree. There were also some lower-weighted metrics about equity, studying racial and gender college completion gaps.

Although many education studies fall into praising the University of Texas, this one considers education as a whole — while still mentioning the university once.

In San Antonio, the bachelor’s completion rate for people 25 and up was 67.30 percent, and 29.56 percent of people in that age group have advanced degrees. The study doesn't have much to say about educational opportunities in the city, focusing instead of its tourist potential. But it did note that the city had one of the smallest racial gaps for higher ed, which was only -5.49 percent. Its gender gap was 0.97 percent, and its high school dropout rate was 4.53 percent.

San Antonio's Trinity University did great in a Niche study that came out in early September. It was the No. 18 best small college in America, and topped the list entirely in Texas. Among bigger fish, it was also the No. 20 best liberal arts college in the country (and again the best in Texas), and made No. 4 in general for best colleges in Texas.

In Austin, 59.89 of people 25 or older completed Bachelor's degrees, and 22.76 percent completed advanced degrees. The racial gap was much worse at -10.87 percent. Its gender gap was a bit less than San Antonio's, at 0.69 percent, and its high school dropout rate was more at 7.56 percent.

Of course, this is where the study mentions UT, which is based in Austin. It made WalletHub's 2024 ranking of the best colleges and universities in Texas and earned the No. 2 spot; clinched the No. 6 spot in Niche's ranking of the best public universities in the country; and earned No. 2 in a list of best undergraduate programs for entrepreneurs by the Princeton Review, among other accolades.

Just breaking into the top 20, Dallas' Bachelor's degree completion rate was 57.05 percent, with 21.37 percent attaining advanced degrees. The racial and gender gaps were −14.99 percent and 1.64 percent, respectively. Much further down the list, Houston's Bachelor's degree completion rate was only 32.99 percent, and only 10.97% achieved advanced degrees. High school dropouts were at 8.90 percent, and the racial and gender gaps were −4.99 and 2.10 percent respectively.

Here are all the Texas cities on the list of 100, in order from most to least educated:

4. San Antonio
7. Austin
20. Dallas
26. Garland
49. El Paso
59. Corpus Christi
76. Laredo
79. Houston
81. Arlington
83. Irving

More information on the study by Forbes advisor, including full city rankings and expanded methodology, is available at forbes.com.

education universities