Emotional Hardbody Answers

Dealing with curmudgeons who play by their own rules at the movies

Dear Emotional Hardbody,

My boyfriend Perry and I went to a movie the other night. Before the movie started, we were occasionally whispering comments to each other during the trailers when this curmudgeon sitting next to Perry leaned in and said, “Excuse me.” We both looked at him, thinking that he was going to ask us a question like “Is this the right theater for Gravity?” His glare made us realize he wasn’t asking a question at all. He was reprimanding us for not being silent during the trailers.

Both Perry and I thought this was ridiculously rude of him. We would have understood getting barked at had we been talking during the feature presentation, but a whispered comment here and there during the trailers doesn’t violate the generally accepted code of movie etiquette as far as we’re aware. Since the movie was about to begin, we let the whole thing go. Besides, we didn’t want to risk making the guy go all Gran Torino on us.

About halfway through the film, the curmudgeon whips out his cell phone and starts obsessively checking the score of the University of Texas football game that had just kicked off. Even if I agreed that whispering an occasional remark during the previews was some sort of crime (which I don’t), it’s way more distracting and rude to stream ESPN on your cell phone during the feature.

In addition to being rude and having supersonic hearing, the guy apparently had a bionic eye, too. He spotted Perry’s Longhorns tee shirt in the dark and that prompted him to offer to keep his phone propped up so he and Perry both could keep an eye on the game. This was an offer Perry couldn’t refuse. For the rest of the movie, the two made quite the odd couple, quietly celebrating and bemoaning the ups and downs of the game together. By the time the credits rolled, the old guy was all smiles, shook Perry’s hand and apologized for snapping at us during the trailers.

On the way home from the theater, Perry and I had an argument about the whole episode. My take: the old guy was one of those people who believes he gets to decide what the rules are and to whom they apply. He, of course, is always exempt. When the old guy whipped out his cell phone and asked Perry if he wanted to join him in keeping an eye on the game, I think Perry should have called him out on his hypocrisy, or at the very least given him the cold shoulder.

Perry’s take: the old guy had a conversion of sorts precisely because Perry was a nice guy about it. I don’t buy this for a second. Sure, Perry's a nice guy, but I guarantee you the next time the old man deems someone else is breaking the rules, he’s going to be just as rude to them as he was to us.

Can you settle this argument for Perry and me? What’s the Emotional Hardbody take on the curmudgeon's behavior?

Signed,

No Patience for Grumpy Old Men

Dear Grumpy,

Can you handle the truth? I agree completely with your take on the man and the rudeness of his behavior, but I disagree with your blaming Perry for anything. Why is it Perry’s job to read your mind and fight your battles? Just as you have a right to decide how to interpret a situation and then decide how to handle it, so does Perry. Perry apparently thought that the old man came around on his own, so nothing needed to be said. You thought he still needed to be told. You were sitting right there. Why didn’t you tell him?

An Emotional Hardbody doesn’t play the “damsel in distress” role. She speaks her mind and stands up for herself. You did neither. If you had something to say about the hypocrisy of this man's actions, it would have been completely reasonable for you to let him know your thoughts. But it’s not fair for you to decline to do so and then be mad at Perry because he didn’t either.

The moral of the story? Rather than waiting around for Superman to save the day, make like Wonder Woman and be your own superhero.

Best,

Emotional Hardbody

unspecified

Defensive Driving

Austin-based Tesla faces new probe focused on remote driving feature

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The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is investigating 2.6 million Teslas.

Federal regulators have opened an investigation into 2.6 million Teslas after reports of crashes involving the use of company technology that allows drivers to remotely command their vehicle to return to them, or move to another location, using a phone app.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration also said Tuesday, January 7 that Austin-based Tesla did not report any of the accidents. Tesla is under order to report crashes on “publicly accessible roads” involving vehicles being operated through its autonomous driving technology.

The new investigation follows another probe launched in October looking into the company's “Full Self-Driving” system after getting reports of crashes in low-visibility conditions, including one that killed a pedestrian. That investigation covers 2.4 million Teslas from the 2016 through 2024 model years.

Tesla did not respond to a request for comment from The Associated Press.

One driver filed a complaint after a crash while using Tesla's “Actually Smart Summon” technology and NHTSA is looking into another three similar incidents based on media reports, the NHTSA said. The agency is looking into 12 total incidents reported by users of the technology.

Each of the vehicles failed to detect posts and other parked vehicles, according to the NHTSA.

Regulators say the vehicles struck objects because the users had "too little reaction time to avoid a crash, either with the available line of sight or releasing the phone app button, which stops the vehicle’s movement.”

Shares of Tesla Inc. slid more than 4 percent in late afternoon trading Tuesday.

Musk has complained that U.S. regulations are too onerous and are holding back the development of self-driving cars. Ethics experts are worried that once President-elect Donald Trump takes office, Musk will push him to ease oversight of Tesla, which just suffered its first decline in annual sales in more than a decade.

Musk donated an estimated $250 million to Trump's presidential campaign and is a frequent guest at Trump's Mar-a-Lago, vetting cabinet nominees and meeting with foreign heads of state. Trump has put Musk in charge of an advisory group, the Department of Government Efficiency, that will recommend where to cut government expenses and staff at federal agencies and reduce regulation.

The NHTSA said it will look into the top speed that Teslas can reach when users deploy its “summons” technology, as well as restrictions on public roads and line of sights requirements. It also said it expects to check for any “connectivity delays" with the app that could result in increased stopping distance.

Tesla’s Model 3 owner’s manual says that its “summons” feature is designed for use only in parking lots and driveways on private property and is disabled on public roads.

The new probe covers 2016-2025 Model S and X vehicles, 2017-2025 Model 3, 2020-2025 Model Y equipped with Tesla's Full Self-Driving driver assistance system.

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