Emotional Hardbody Answers

My best friend’s boyfriend bought her a gift she’ll hate. Should I tell him?

Dear Emotional Hardbody,

My best friend, Veronica, has a new boyfriend, James. The two of them are head over heels about each other. James seems like a really nice guy, and this relationship could last. But there’s a potential problem in the near future.

Veronica’s birthday is in a couple of weeks. After making me promise not to spoil the surprise, a bursting-with-pride James showed me the birthday present he got for her. It’s a Pandora bracelet, and at $300+, it wasn’t cheap.

Veronica is a bit of a jewelry snob. It’s not like she insists on expensive jewelry — in fact, she doesn’t wear much jewelry at all. It’s just that she hates “mall” jewelry in general and Pandora jewelry in particular. In fact, Pandora jewelry is a frequent butt of her (not infrequent) jewelry- or mall-related jokes. It’s only because this relationship is new that James could have missed this.

Should I tell James that Veronica hates Pandora jewelry or just keep my mouth shut and let him give her the bracelet?

Signed,

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Dear Rock,

This is a Pandora’s Box dilemma if ever there was one. Do you figuratively open Pandora’s Box now by telling James, or do you figuratively open Pandora's Box later when Veronica literally open the Pandora’s box for herself on her birthday? It’s enough to make you wish diamonds actually were Veronica’s best friend. That way you wouldn't be in the hot seat right now.

Right or wrong, the initial stages of dating typically involve a lot of image crafting on the part of both parties. Telling James not only risks hurting his feelings and/or embarrassing him, it requires disclosing something about Veronica (her disdain for mall jewelry) that she might not want revealed just yet.

Oftentimes, the polite thing to do and the considerate thing to do are the same. But this is one of those rare cases where they are different.

But if you don’t say anything, James has spent several hundred dollars on something you know Veronica will hate. If the relationship lasts, sooner or later he’ll find out about her hatred for Pandora jewelry, and he’ll know that you had the opportunity to give him a heads up but didn’t.

Oftentimes, the polite thing to do and the considerate thing to do are the same. But this is one of those rare cases where they are different.

The polite thing to do is to say nothing and let this play out however it plays out. Veronica and James are adults, and if this relationship is meant to be, they’ll figure this out on their own, awkward moments and all. After all, James didn’t ask for your input before he bought the gift, and he showed it to you only after swearing you to secrecy. Those two factors simultaneously box you in and provide you cover.

The considerate thing to do is to let James know that Veronica isn’t crazy about Pandora jewelry. With two weeks to go before her birthday, there’s still plenty of time to return the bracelet and get her something else. Sure, that conversation is going to be about as much fun as a class in Greek mythology, but it’s not like it would be all pain and no gain. You know he wants to get Veronica something nice, but because he hasn’t known her very long, he doesn’t know her likes and dislikes. As her best friend, you do. If you have the wherewithal to have this awkward conversation, you can help James avoid a misfire and help Veronica get a birthday present that’s a better fit for her personality.

If you’re having trouble deciding which way to go, consider this: If you were in James’ position, wouldn’t you want to know? I know I would. But more importantly, think about it from Veronica’s perspective. Knowing what you know about your best friend’s personality, do you think she’d want you to tell James or leave it alone? Once you figure out the answer to that question, then you’ll know what to do.

Good luck!

Emotional Hardbody

unspecified

Defensive Driving

Austin-based Tesla faces new probe focused on remote driving feature

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The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is investigating 2.6 million Teslas.

Federal regulators have opened an investigation into 2.6 million Teslas after reports of crashes involving the use of company technology that allows drivers to remotely command their vehicle to return to them, or move to another location, using a phone app.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration also said Tuesday, January 7 that Austin-based Tesla did not report any of the accidents. Tesla is under order to report crashes on “publicly accessible roads” involving vehicles being operated through its autonomous driving technology.

The new investigation follows another probe launched in October looking into the company's “Full Self-Driving” system after getting reports of crashes in low-visibility conditions, including one that killed a pedestrian. That investigation covers 2.4 million Teslas from the 2016 through 2024 model years.

Tesla did not respond to a request for comment from The Associated Press.

One driver filed a complaint after a crash while using Tesla's “Actually Smart Summon” technology and NHTSA is looking into another three similar incidents based on media reports, the NHTSA said. The agency is looking into 12 total incidents reported by users of the technology.

Each of the vehicles failed to detect posts and other parked vehicles, according to the NHTSA.

Regulators say the vehicles struck objects because the users had "too little reaction time to avoid a crash, either with the available line of sight or releasing the phone app button, which stops the vehicle’s movement.”

Shares of Tesla Inc. slid more than 4 percent in late afternoon trading Tuesday.

Musk has complained that U.S. regulations are too onerous and are holding back the development of self-driving cars. Ethics experts are worried that once President-elect Donald Trump takes office, Musk will push him to ease oversight of Tesla, which just suffered its first decline in annual sales in more than a decade.

Musk donated an estimated $250 million to Trump's presidential campaign and is a frequent guest at Trump's Mar-a-Lago, vetting cabinet nominees and meeting with foreign heads of state. Trump has put Musk in charge of an advisory group, the Department of Government Efficiency, that will recommend where to cut government expenses and staff at federal agencies and reduce regulation.

The NHTSA said it will look into the top speed that Teslas can reach when users deploy its “summons” technology, as well as restrictions on public roads and line of sights requirements. It also said it expects to check for any “connectivity delays" with the app that could result in increased stopping distance.

Tesla’s Model 3 owner’s manual says that its “summons” feature is designed for use only in parking lots and driveways on private property and is disabled on public roads.

The new probe covers 2016-2025 Model S and X vehicles, 2017-2025 Model 3, 2020-2025 Model Y equipped with Tesla's Full Self-Driving driver assistance system.

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