Last week featured a storm of speculation and rumors swirling around the Texas Longhorns and the future of embattled head coach Mack Brown. Orangebloods.com and ESPN reported that Brown was out, which the coach and others in the administration quickly denied. But on Saturday, it appeared that Brown had his come-to-Jesus moment and announced that he would step down after the Valero Alamo Bowl on December 30.
Perhaps the administration should head to social media for the job search. Why settle for a coach from a top collegiate athletic program when you can have a washed up baseball player turned inept MMA fighter?
Now the only question that remains is who will be filling in the big shoes left by a coach with a 16-year legacy consisting of a national title, two Big 12 conference championships and numerous bowl game victories. Unfortunately, the dream choice of Nick Saban is out of the question, and the University of Texas will have to shell out the big bucks for any other top coaching candidate.
Perhaps the administration should head to social media for the job search. Why settle for a coach from a top collegiate athletic program when you can have a washed up baseball player turned inept MMA fighter?
Jose Canseco, the former Oakland Athletic who admitted to extensive steroid use (and doesn't see what the big deal was all about), reached out to UT Athletic Director Steve Patterson (via an incorrect Twitter handle, mind you) and expressed his interest in the position, even creating a five-point plan for returning the Horns to glory.
For those who don't dabble in the world of Twitter, Canseco is a delightfully insane tweet machine, on par with Donald Trump and the Iron Sheik, and his ideas don't disappoint. In fact, it's almost scary how much sense they make, and we must give credit to Brandon Stroud of WithLeather.com for bringing this job application to our attention and for tirelessly recording the best hits of Canseco's Twitter ramblings.
So sorry to hear about Mack Brown. hug for u buddy
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 15, 2013Hey Steve @stevepatterson you need a huge name for huge job buddy. I know football even better than baseball.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 15, 2013Hey Steve @stevepatterson Here is my plan to fix Texas football.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 15, 2013First the lines are weak. It is our foundation and must be stronger. I know what to do. #Cansecohorns
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 15, 2013Second what conference are we even in now? Just join the SEC already #Cansecohorns
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 15, 2013Third why have we had all these 5'9 QBs with weak arms? Go get another Vince Young #Cansecohorns
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 15, 2013Forth hire the Baylor recruiting coach he is killing us. #Cansecohorns
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 15, 2013My goats could help Bevo #hornseco
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 16, 2013It's understandable if you're a little confused by that last tweet; Canseco is referencing his two pet goats, Coco and Chanel, one of which was in his car wearing a diaper when he was pulled over by a cop. Yes, this is par for the course in Canseco's life. Canseco wants to strengthen the linemen, which isn't a bad idea — until you remember that Canseco isn't ashamed of strengthening through unnatural means.
The failed boxer also believes the Longhorns are ready to join the strongest conference in football and that UT should stop recruiting tiny, weak-armed quarterbacks, despite the fact that our recent starters have all easily been over six feet tall and that Vince Young was known more for his legs than his arms. There may be a few holes in Canseco's football résumé, but honestly it would be fascinating to find out how goats in diapers can propel the Longhorns back to the top of the Big 12.
Is multi-talented athlete Jose Canseco the answer to the woes of UT football?
One of the weekend's major talking points was the addition of the new Paddock Hospitality track at the top of Turn 1. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Although he is not in contention for a repeat championship, Lando Norris remains a crowd favorite. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Kimi Antonelli led from the start, never losing placement as he claimed his ninth win of the season. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
It was hard to get a moment with Paddock star the Ferrari Pope, who posed for pictures all weekend. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Kimi Antonelli greeted the Grandstand before boarding the trailer ahead of the Driver's Parade on Sunday. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Lily Zneimer stopped for a quick portrait before heading into the McLaren garage to support her boyfriend, driver Oscar Piastri.Photo by Daniel Cavazos
McLaren CEO Zak Brown and Michael Dell made their way to the McLaren garage just before the qualifying round on Saturday afternoon. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
It takes a well-oiled machine of a team to win races. No drama, just fist bumps and good communication. Oh, and a fast car.Photo by Daniel Cavazos
COTA's new attraction is the theme park, aptly named COTALand. Clearly, the jury remains out on the spectacle. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
It's not uncommon to see fans lined up outside of the Paddock as they wait for their favorite drivers and teams to head out for the day. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Last year's US Grand Prix winner, Max Verstappen, finished third this year after starting second on the grid. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Alpine's pit crew got their warm-ups done shortly before race start on Sunday. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
"All we talk about are tires and batteries in this sport. (They're the) stars of the show," said Nic Cameron of Leeds, New York. Mercedes engineers stacked used tires from the qualifying session to send off for analysis.Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Interior designer and Miss Jamaica Universe 1994 Angelie Spencer was on site to support her favorite team, Ferrari. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Having Cadillac driver and fan favorite Checo Perez back on the grid has been great for the US Grand Prix, as thousands of Mexicans come to Austin to watch their countryman race. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
It's no surprise who fashion influencer Aimee Kelly supports.Photo by Daniel Cavazos
Although Antonelli took home the winner’s trophy, he did not clinch the driver’s championship as some had hoped. He needed teammate George Russell to fall to 9th and ex-Mercedes world champion Lewis Hamilton to finish in 5th. Photo by Daniel Cavazos
The Mercedes garage was full of adrenaline as they waited for Antonelli to arrive at parc fermé and take the traditional plunge into the hands of his crew.Photo by Daniel Cavazos
The championship is all but Antonelli’s, with one hand firmly on the grip of the trophy. He is expected to complete his first-ever world championship this weekend in Mexico.Photo by Daniel Cavazos