relationship advice
Pink Kisses answers: What if you're falling for your best friend's ex?
Ellie Scarborough is a bodacious bombshell locked & loaded with intelligent answers to all your questions about dating, love, sex, breakups and all things in between. Ellie launched a community in 2010 to help girls get through heartbreak, giving them tips, tools and inspiration to keep them moving forward without looking back. Now, she's lending her expertise to CultureMap, solving the problems of the 512's lovelorn, one no-BS answer at a time.
Q: I may have feelings for my best friend’s ex. They have been on again / off again for about two years. I always thought he was a little cute, and we have flirted, but nothing serious. My best friend tells me about how he’s such a jerk, and uses her… but I just can’t stop thinking about him. I know it’s wrong, and he’s a ‘jerk’ but, I’m still attracted to him anyway! Should I get over him, or give him a chance to see what he's like? Or am I way out of line because he’s my friend’s ex? I’m so confused! Please help!
A: Okay, here’s the deal. To you, because you’re in the middle of it, your situation seems complex. In the grand scheme of things, though, the answer couldn’t be more simple.
You need to get over him FAST. Boys may come and go, but real friends stick together through hell and high water. No one should involve herself with the kind of guy who goes after his ex’s friends in the aftermath… that’s creepy behavior, and nobody deserves to be on the receiving end of it.
Just think, too — if he does it to her, who says he wouldn’t do it to you as well? Let’s talk about the most important part of all. Trust is the foundation of friendship. Imagine if a romantic relationship of yours ended, and then you lost one of your friends too because she’d been lying in wait the whole time, waiting for the perfect moment to claim something that used to be sacred to you. Don’t do that to someone you call your friend, particularly when she needs support more than ever.
There are billions — literally billions — of men out there, and therefore billions of reasons for you to do the right thing.
--
Want your question answered? Shoot an email to ellie {at} pinkkisses {dot} com to see what she has to say. Also check out how Ellie came to be in CultureMap's entreprenuer series.