Advice for love
Pink Kisses answers: I really want my ex back, what do I do?
Ellie Scarborough is a bodacious bombshell locked & loaded with intelligent answers to all your questions about dating, love, sex, breakups and all things in between. Ellie launched a community in 2010 to help girls get through heartbreak, giving them tips, tools and inspiration to keep them moving forward without looking back. Now, she's lending her expertise to CultureMap, solving the problems of the 512's lovelorn, one no-BS answer at a time.
Q: Recently my boyfriend broke up with me, without really giving me a straight reason why, and now refuses to talk to me at all. Obviously he is a little immature. I have given it a good amount of time, but I still would like to get him back. I believe we had something REALLY special and if that doesnt work I’d at least like to be friends with him. So first question how do I get him back? Second question, what are guys ever thinking? And third, how do you know when enough is enough with a guy and when to actually let go?
A: I think the real question here is, why do you want to focus your time and energy on someone who doesn’t want to talk to you, and didn’t have enough respect to tell you why he was breaking up with you? But I know you didn’t write in looking for more questions… you’re looking for answers. So, here they are. Deep breath.
The answer to your first question is: You don’t get him back. It sounds as if there are maturity issues here, just as you said, and you can’t force someone to grow up or want to be with you, no matter how hard you try. The answer to your second question is one of the biggest secrets in the universe… although, to be fair, guys ask the same question about girls, so that kind of makes it even.
Finally, in response to your third question: enough is enough with a guy when he no longer treats you with kindness and care. Respect, tenderness and open communication are key, and without them, healthy relationships can’t exist. Breaking up with you without explanation and then simply refusing to talk to you?? When a boy does that, it’s time to let go and move on to better things in life.
It’s hard to let go, but it’s necessary. We get stuck on people for all kinds of reasons… the way they make us feel, the people we think they are underneath their shells, the simple rules of attraction. But when it’s gone completely sour and there’s just no saving it, it doesn’t make sense to keep hanging on. There are too many other adventures out there for you to just sit around and wait for this guy to grow up. Get out there and do some things for YOU. Make your OWN happiness, and let boys you meet in the future simply be the icing on the cake. Life’s too short not to be delicious.
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