dating advice
Pink Kisses answers: How do you handle messages from your married ex?
Ellie Scarborough is a bodacious bombshell locked & loaded with intelligent answers to all your questions about dating, love, sex, breakups and all things in between. Ellie launched a community in 2010 to help girls get through heartbreak, giving them tips, tools and inspiration to keep them moving forward without looking back. Now, she's lending her expertise to CultureMap, solving the problems of the 512's lovelorn, one no-BS answer at a time.
Q: In the last month, two of my exes from the past eight years have contacted me either by phone or sending a message on Facebook (and we’re NOT Facebook friends). Is there something in the water? I’ve moved on (although I'm still single), and they are either in relationships or married.
How do I respond? I’m not interested in being friends or reconnecting, and I’m not even sure it’s healthy that they are contacting me. I don’t want to be rude, but I also understand they are in my past for a reason and I didn’t want them in my future. How do I get rid of them? I mean, I’d be mad if my man was contacting his ex out of the blue!
A: Girl, go with your gut on this one. If it feels yucky about the whole situation, it should. There’s no reason to be emailing or messaging a married guy, or even a guy in a relationship… especially if the two of you have history.
I’m sure you’re totally hot and irresistible, and they could be getting back in touch with you for any number or reasons (or for no reason at all), but all you need to say to that is, “NO THANKS!”
The tricky part? Whether to respond or not. I say don’t encourage these guys in any way. If you don’t respond, they’ll get the hint that you don’t wanna chit chat. If they keep bugging you, then you might have to spell it out.
And if it comes to that… don’t you dare worry about being rude. Clearly let them know that you’ve moved on and have no interest in being friends. Leave no room for doubt.
Sorry guys, you had your chances!
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