Sex and the Capital City: You booze, you lose? The perils of drinking and dating
Let’s be honest with ourselves — alcohol complicates things. For as many times as we’ve all imbibed in a much-needed margarita to unwind from a hard day at work, we’ve also all had a moment of booze-hazed recollection surrounding a whiskey-filled night out — “Did I really say THAT?”
Yes, you did. And it may be hurting you in the dating world.
While a glass of wine is great for shaking off those first date jitters, it sometimes leads us down a slippery slope of saying the wrong thing.
A first date (or even a casual meet-up) almost always involves some sort of alcoholic lubrication — “Let’s meet for drinks,” or “Would you like some wine?” are words that are frequently uttered. And while a glass of wine is great for shaking off those first date jitters, it sometimes leads us down a slippery slope of saying the wrong thing.
It has to be noted that I suffer from a pretty serious bout of “foot in mouth” disease. It doesn’t take a couple of cocktails for me to say something awkward, and the things that spew out of my mouth are never as censored as they should be. I lack a filter bestowed to most people during puberty. I blame my mother, who specializes in her own brand of “keeping it real” and has for as long as I can remember.
It is what it is, and I do my best to throw the “grain of salt” disclaimer down as soon as possible.
But since beginning this column, I’ll routinely poll my lady friends for topics they’d like to hear, most often over a glass (or two) of wine (I never said I wasn’t cliché). Inevitably, this develops into a chat about our lives — social; romantic; work, and otherwise. And while we’re all generally pretty candid, the Chardonnay puts us in an over-sharing state of mind in a big way. Over-sharing with a girlfriend is one thing, but what about with a potential mate?
I have a friend who recently took a step away from the spirits, when she noticed that she and her boyfriend only talked about their relationship while under-the-influence. Another friend’s relationship ended when they had a harsh and meaningful discussion after a late night out — one best saved for a sober moment. Countless other girls I know obsess over the tiniest alcohol-infused tidbit that was said to someone that they happen to fancy.
On the verge of an over-share? Hold that thought until the AM.
I know what you’re thinking — no, I don’t hang out with a bunch of boozehound sorority girls. We’re all college-educated women, with full-time jobs and health insurance. We’re not raging every M-F. We enjoy a good night out like the rest of ‘em, but we’re completely normal ladies — sprinkled with the little bit of neuroses and insecurities that plague most women in their mid-to-late twenties.
So if we’re already obsessing over every minor dating detail, then drinking sure isn’t going to help matters, right? I’m not climbing on a soapbox and advocating sobriety, mind you. While great for many, it’s a state of mind that’s not always realistic in this margarita-soaked town we call home.
All I’m trying to bring into the limelight here are the types of conversations we’re all akin to having when we’re three sheets to the wind. On the verge of an over-share? Hold that thought until the AM. Responsible drinking doesn’t just pertain to driving, after all.