More and more, I hear Austinites expressing aloud their frustrations with how many festivals our city holds on any given weekend. It's usually while they're having trouble finding parking so they can attend an event featuring their favorite band/comedian/blogger who's here thanks to said festival.

Well, this is another one of those obnoxiously Austin fest-filled weekends where everyone will either be out and about, taking photos of their celeb crushes, or holing up at home to avoid the noise and hullabaloo. After these many years, you should already know which type of Austinite you are...

So for all you gadabouts out there, here are our recommendations of which festivals and which events will help you make the most of your Mega Festival Weekend! Maybe tickets will even be available if you stop reading this and go order them right now...

If you haven't noticed all over our site so far, the Moontower Comedy & Oddity Fest is in full swing until Saturday night. Huge stars like Aziz Ansari, Maria Bamford and Seth Meyers have been lining up the crowds and packing seats at every major venue in town. Friday night, "Toastmaster General" Jeffrey Ross is roasting the entire city of Austin at a 100% free show at The Paramount, and the brilliant minds behind Funny or Die perform next door at The State. Saturday, Wanda Sykes plays the late show at the Paramount, and James Adomian hosts both the early and late editions of The Super Serious Show at The State. Can't get into those? Check out the amazing local and visiting stands up at nearby Beale Street, Velveeta Room and The Parish.

The smoke has cleared up from Reggae Fest, and now it's time for another type of more legal smoke to flare up again at Auditorium Shores. This time, it's the immensely popular Austin Food & Wine Festival, put on by the Austin Food & Wine Alliance. Saturday and Sunday, you can meet, learn from and try bites prepared by some of the biggest names in the culinary world today. Marcus Samuelsson, Michelle Bernstein, Andrew Zimmerman, Masaharu Morimoto and Gail Simmons are just some of the names joining local food heroes like Paul Qui, David Bull and Tyson Cole. Master chef demos are scheduled throughout the days, and you do not want to miss the Grand Tastings each day, to try the food and hobknob with the chefs.

If you're up for a little more experimental entertainment, this weekend is also the first for the 2012 Fusebox Festival, a collection of contemporary visual, musical and performance art. The festival kicked off Wednesday to a lively, unflinching start with Alison Orr's New Grrl Order show on the terrace of the Long Center. Now, performers from all across the globe invite you to partake in their multimedia creations that push the boundaries on how we experience art today. Specifically exciting to this critic are Phil Soltanoff's celebrity-enhanced Evening with William Shatner Asterisk and Gob Squad's improvised film experiment, Super Night Shot. Make sure to also check out their dinner-and-a-show Digestible Feats series for a complete sensory event.

For all you film freaks, you've got two film festivals to choose from. The Cine Las Americas International Film Festival continues throughout the weekend at the Mexican-American Cultural Center, featuring over 100 international films showcasing Latino and indigenous filmmakers and subjects. Meanwhile, the Hill Country Film Festival runs until Sunday at Fredericksburg's Stagecoach Theater, and features 48 new independent films, feature-length and shorts, as well as panel discussions with the filmmakers.

And since we're the Live Music Capital, we should probably have a music festival, too, don't you think? Luckily, Austin Psych Fest runs Friday through Sunday at its new location: Emo's East and Beauty Ballroom. In order to "honor Austin's psychedelic rock heritage," this music and multimedia art festival started by The Black Angels has grown into a super welcoming, all-encompassing celebration of loud music. Combining vintage, modern and up-and-coming bands plus some secret surprise guests, you'll get to see the Meat Puppets, Thee Oh Sees, The Golden Dawn, Dead Confederate and Singapore Sling, just to name a few. With the same great commitment to great music (and plenty of parking this year!), this is going to be a banner year for this constantly growing festival.

And if you just want to chill out and tune out all the busy noise in the city, it's time again for Eeyore's Birthday Party, the annual hippie love-in and nonprofit fundraiser at Pease Park. Technically, it's a Pagan celebration of Springtime and rebirth with maypoles and everything; but in its 49 years, it's mostly become a cool place to toke up and take your top off while dancing to some sweet tambourine tapping. (No, really — it's maybe the highest you can get in public without anyone ruining your buzz, maaaaaaaan.) Each year, amazingly, the event raises enough money through food and drink sales to make generous donations to a ton of local nonprofits as well, so this is a fantastic way to help out the city doing what you'd be doing at home anyway, right?

These listings do not even include all the amazing theatre, film, food and outings that are taking place throughout the weekend in the ATX. Clearly, it's going to be a busy three days, and you'll need to plan ahead if you want to make it to everything. Leave ample time for driving, parking, waiting and getting adequately pumped for all the fun you're going to have.

And don't complain that there's too much to do. Be thankful you live in a city where all the stars want to come visit. You could always live in Cleveland...