Pink Kisses answers: Waiting around for The One
Ellie Scarborough and Amy Lynch are two bodacious bombshells locked & loaded with intelligent answers to all your questions about dating, love, sex, breakups and all things in between. Ellie launched a community in 2010 to help girls get through heartbreak, giving them tips, tools and inspiration to keep them moving forward without looking back. Now, she and professional partner-in-crime(s of the heart) Amy are lending an ear to CultureMap: Austin, solving the problems of the 512's lovelorn one no-BS answer at a time.
I'm 22 years old, and I have a longstanding relationship with "E." We know each other from high school, and danced around the idea of dating until about two years ago, when we gave "us" the college try. But college sucks for relationships. We both have busy work and school schedules. E made it clear early on that he was serious about me. At the time, I freaked out a little. We're too young (and frazzled) to talk marriage, kids. But there we were, talking about it.
Long story short, after a wonderful year, we devolved into an on-again off-again relationship. We fought about a lot of petty things. And one big thing. He tried something (someone) new in an "off" patch, hid it from me, and I never really recovered. In a serious lapse of judgement, I called the whole thing off until I was ready to make a commitment... and started casually seeing his close friend. It was cathartic, but it was wrong.
E and I stopped dating six months ago, but he's still in my life. He has a girlfriend of about a month. We've talked circles around our mistakes. He's still sure I'm "the One", but he says he needs time to recover from all the hurt feelings and confusion. He doesn't know how much time he needs. I don't blame him. We've limited our conversations and try to stay out of each other's way. But, should I wait for him? Is there any way to come back from all this? A couple years down the road, this guy will make a great dad, and a wonderful husband. But could he still be that for me?
Don't you dare wait for him to make your life for you. Make your own. Self-direction is a luxury far too few people realize they have.