In a town where people know each other better through their Twitter handle than their real name, it should come as no surprise that Austin is considered the #8 most socially networked city in America by Men's Health.

Once in awhile I'll be eating at a restaurant or walking down the street and a person will stop me to say, "You're Hipstercrite, right?" My childhood dreams of becoming a celebrity come rushing back and I shyly respond with, "Why, yes. Yes, I am." Maybe they recognize me from my blog! Maybe I wrote something that made them tingle! The person then looks at my blankly and says, "You tweet an ass load."

I'm reminded that I'm not recognized for contributing anything to mankind other than an exuberant number of tweets about my digestive system and David Byrne (independently of each other).

Before I moved to Austin, I wasn't much into the social media. I thought Twitter was designed to make me look like an asshole. The amount of attention required to become good at Twitter was something I felt I didn't have the patience for. But that has all changed. Now my life revolves around it.

I've developed a new reality based around instant feedback, and honed a superpower of the millisecond attention span. I'm a SMORE (Social Media Whore). I live for the thrill of a mention or a like or a comment or a poke or a ping. What I probably need is an actual real-life hug instead of this virtual poking and prodding. My smorish ways have disconnected me from IRL (In Real Life) interaction.

Don't get me wrong, I obviously love Twitter. Sometimes I fantasize about a t-shirt declaring my love for it. I've "met" so many wonderful people in the Austin social media community. The tweeters and bloggers of Austin are a tight-knit and friendly group. They're always quick to help one another.

Twitter has also become my first resource for news. Recently when police helicopters circled my eastside home and I was convinced the city was turning into the setting of Mad Max, it was Twitter that informed me what was going on. The power and influence of Twitter is spell-binding and I'd be happy to have one of Twitter's babies (which hopefully doesn't turn out to be a dead blue whale).

My biggest concern is that I'm turning into a recluse because of Twitter. Oh, I can talk your ear off online, but in person, I now find myself slack-jawed and unable to form complete sentences. "MmmBah!" I say to the person standing in front of me. "What?" they ask. Frustrated, I shake my head hoping the words will fall out. "Aaahmmmbahhh!" I say again. "What are you trying to say to me?" the person asks. I stand there, concentrating with all my might when finally the word, "Hello!" squirts out of my mouth. Has Twitter really made it that difficult to interact with others? Will this behavior lead to a lifetime of drinking behind closed blinds and tweeting about it?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this lately and have developed a questionnaire to see if you're obsessed with Twitter.

• When something interesting happens, is your first thought, "I'm going to tweet the living shit out of this!?"
• Do you hit the @mention button more than five times in ten seconds?
• Do you unconsciously check the @mention on your phone when your laptop is open in front of you?
• Do you retweet everything nice than anyone tweets about you?
• You're introduced to someone in real-life but realize you already know them from Twitter. Are you too afraid to say so out of fear you will look like a stalker?
• Is your daily self-esteem affected by the amount of @mentions and retweets you receive a day?
• When Twitter is malfunctioning and you haven't received a tweet in a couple of hours, are you convinced that you said something offensive and everyone in town hates you now?
• Does your ego grow in proportion to the number of Twitter followers you get?
• Do you ask Twitter for medical advice?