Ellie Scarborough and Amy Lynch are two bodacious bombshells locked & loaded with intelligent answers to all your questions about dating, love, sex, breakups and all things in between. Ellie launched a community in 2010 to help girls get through heartbreak, giving them tips, tools and inspiration to keep them moving forward without looking back. Now, she and professional partner-in-crime(s of the heart) Amy are lending their expertise to CultureMap, solving the problems of the 512's lovelorn one no-BS answer at a time.

Q: How is it still so hard, going on eight months after a breakup? I feel like my love for him (and my annoyance with other men) is lasting so long, maybe I was wrong to walk away. But then I suppose he didn't care enough to fight to get me back again. Is it wrong for me to be the one who fights for the relationship? I feel so lost today.

A: There's no right or wrong when it comes to your feelings, but there's healthy and then there's self-defeating... and believe us when we say we've been through all of it at some point or another. It's totally normal to have doubts about walking away from a relationship, even eight months after the fact or longer. But it's not fair to let yourself get stuck in a pattern of regret. If your gut instinct told you to walk away and you followed it, then that's all you need to know. If he didn't come around fighting to get you back into his life and make things better between the two of you, then it's not worth spending all your time and energy on him anymore. There are better things up ahead, whether you realize it or not.

Sure, you'll need to give yourself time to work through all the emotions that come along with the aftermath of a breakup, particularly if you've been kind of setting them aside, thinking they'll just magically disappear. Sometimes we need to kick and scream and cry and just let it out for a while. But don't you dare let yourself get stuck in that space, focusing on the past, sabotaging yourself and passing up opportunities for happiness. (When we say "opportunities for happiness," by the way, we don't necessarily mean other mean. We mean going after and grabbing whatever makes you smile—traveling, spending time with friends, pursuing a hobby or creative pursuit, trying things that scare you... basically, we're talking about cultivating your own joy, on your own terms, and not worrying so much about romantic relationships. The best ones jump up and happen when you least expect them to—when you're busy paying attention to positive things in your own life and generating good energy that acts like a shield against hurtful things no matter where you go or what you do.)

Happiness is infectious, and it's free. It's not always easy to find, but the secret is, you're capable of seeking it out all on your own, and the journey is half the fun... even though sometimes it can scare the crap out of you. But you know what? The fear is kind of fun, too, if you think about it. You can let it make you do bold things and take you places in life you never otherwise would have gone. You can let it empower you. Life's too short to spend it looking backwards.

Here's a link to a song we absolutely love; give it a listen and let it inspire you. If you'd like, check out the Pink Kisses blog and site for inspiration and resources to help you move on. Most of all, take the time to do something positive, healthy and amazing—big or little, doesn't matter—just for you. You deserve it.

Want your question answered? Shoot an email to culturemap {at} pinkkisses {dot} com to see what the girls have to say.