love and relationships
NeverLikedItAnyway: Nothing heals a broken heart like selling your ex-lover'sswag
Jan 8, 2012 | 4:41 pm
- Barbara Allin Silk Halter A Line Wedding Dress for sale."I was married for a year until my husband decided to be less than faithful.Part of moving on for me is selling this gorgeous dress – don’t let it go towaste! I hope someone else can enjoy this dress instead of it sitting in acloset."
- Custom platinum & diamond engagement ring"We were dating for two years before I decided to pull the trigger andcommission this piece to propose to her. We had always talked about gettingmarried, having kids, and being together long term. After I proposed she refusedto plan the wedding and wouldn't tell me why. After months of arguing I foundout that her parents didn't approve of me and she wasn't standing up for me ...or herself. They said I needed to get a job, even though I've been successfullyself-employed for over three years. She also told me that since I was in acommitted relationship I wasn't allowed to make new female friends unless it waswork related. All in all, I recognized the issues that wouldn't change and madethe decision to make the split - a decision that has been commended by all privyto the details of the story. I'd like to get this ring onto the hand of someonethat loves their partner more than her parents."
What's a gal (or guy) to do when faced with constant reminders of a recently failed relationship — those gifts you were given, that art you picked out together, those left-behind t-shirts you’re still sleeping in? Clean house, is what.
NeverLikedItAnyway is an emotional auction of sorts: a marketplace for the sales and purchases of break-up bounties. Nothing reverses a cold, hard emotional jilt better than a cold, hard dismissal of material mementos.
Founder Annabel Acton broke up with her long-term boyfriend five days before Christmas and found herself with a plane ticket to London that she no longer wanted — or needed. "I then started thinking about all the other things I had that I no longer wanted; things we'd bought together, tickets to shows coming up that I wouldn't want to see without him and even the jewelry that I loved but just couldn't wear anymore," Acton tells CultureMap.
After joking with her friends about a figurative site that would allow dumpees to sell the relics they’re left with when love goes awry, she realized she was onto something. People were laughing; they found it positive. Acton knew that in the little free time she had, she had to make this type of forum a reality. "I wanted to create a site that offered a practical way to help people move on and see the bright-side faster than they were expecting," she explains. "I also wanted to create a community that was bound by a shared experience and attitude dedicated to moving on."
Founder Annabel Acton broke up with her long-term boyfriend five days before Christmas and found herself with a plane ticket to London that she no longer wanted — or needed. "I then started thinking about all the other things I had that I no longer wanted; things we'd bought together, tickets to shows coming up that I wouldn't want to see without him and even the jewelry that I loved but just couldn't wear anymore," Acton tells CultureMap.
After joking with her friends about a figurative site that would allow dumpees to sell the relics they’re left with when love goes awry, she realized she was onto something. People were laughing; they found it positive. Acton knew that in the little free time she had, she had to make this type of forum a reality. "I wanted to create a site that offered a practical way to help people move on and see the bright-side faster than they were expecting," she explains. "I also wanted to create a community that was bound by a shared experience and attitude dedicated to moving on."
It makes you realize that someone, somewhere had it worse than you. And that, sad though it may seem, does help you move on faster to know that other people are in the same boat.
She hopes that NeverLikedItAnyway helps its users unload emotional baggage and take an empowering step forward into a new-found independent lifestyle. "I think there's definitely something powerful and cathartic about parting with stuff that has sentimental value. . .You do this as a signal to yourself that you're ready to turn the page and make a fresh start."
However, the site's cheekiness is balanced with a healthy sense of communal support. Acton knows good and well that, in the end, it's patience with time that will get the lovelorn to a better place.
"When I had the [website] idea, I started researching breakups and quickly discovered there wasn't much out there that was witty, inspirational and a little irreverent. . .All there was was dramatic cliches and useless metaphors. It made me all the more determined to create a community with a bit of humor, lightness and attitude. I also became fixed on doing something that offered an action — sell something!"
What's unique about the community NeverLikedItAnyway facilitates is that the buyers are often just as emotionally invested in the sellers."I've been genuinely touched by the community the site has generated," Acton reveals. "I've heard from many sellers that when buyers approach them, they are always offered advice and some sort of condolence for their breakup story."
So, there might be one cliche that does ring true for NeverLikedItAnyway: Misery loves company. "When it comes to moving on, there's a lot to be said for a community that shares and offers advice on each other's stories. It makes you realize that someone, somewhere had it worse than you. And that, sad though it may seem, does help you move on faster to know that other people are in the same boat."
For example, there's one seller currently auctioning off her wedding band to help pay for divorce legal fees, but the content behind the ad aligns closely with Acton's intention: It’s strong and empowered rather than over bitter and angry.
Expect grander plans from Acton in the future. NeverLikedItAnyway may be in mere infancy, but she already knows where she wants the business to head.
"It's strange to me that there are so many online dating sites, but none that really help when love turns sour," she says. "I'd love to thrive as an empowered community that offers practical advice for moving on and mending hearts…I'd love to see Never Liked It Anyway become a cathartic necessity for relationships gone wrong."
One day, you may even see an Acton-founded dating website, all its own — helping users navigate the evolution of love, for better or for worse.