They'll drink it all up
The milkshake gauntlet has been thrown down. Who among you dares to pick it up?
Alamo Drafthouse issued a call to milkshake connoisseurs, seeking a new fall- or movie-inspired milkshake for their nationwide menu.
"Do you have what it takes to land on the menu alongside Alamo favorites like the 512 Pecan Porter shake, Porky's Pizza or the Royale With Cheese? Now is the time to find out," challenged Alamo Beverage Director Bill Norris.
After the Alamo's switch from using Amy’s ice cream to plain ole soft serve vanilla (and eliminating toppings like chocolate covered sunflower seeds), the theater is seeking to satiate the local dissidents who claim the new milkshakes “suck.”
Milkshake entries are required to be heavy not only in calories but also in wit, along with other ingredient guidelines. The reward for the grand-prize winner? An All You Can Watch Movie Pass for the duration his or her milkshake is on the menu.
So not only will you be the hero of all of Alamo milkshakedom if you win, you'll have the opportunity to view more famed Alamo programming than most people get in a lifetime.
I know that last bit just sent you scrambling to your blender, but there is no way you’ll be able to compete against my “Transform…into a milkshake.” That’s soft serve with strawberry, blueberry and cayenne (Optimus Prime colors, foo).
Or maybe it’ll be “Bock to the Milkshake.” That’d be soft serve, Shiner Bock, chocolate malt balls and bit of salt.
I don’t know. Either way, that pass is mine.