Desperate for Digits
Miss America uses her power to hound Aaron Rodgers, proves why Miss Oklahoma wasrobbed
Anyone who even half watched the 2012 Miss America pageant knows that Miss Oklahoma was totally robbed.
Davenport, Okla., native Betty Thompson was just about as American as they come — she knows how to give a cow a pedicure, drives a truck with a lift kit and reads the Declaration of Independence every July Fourth. When it came time for the question portion and Miss Oklahoma was asked whether the government should intervene on issues of childhood obesity, she gave a predictably Ammurican answer: People should be taking responsibility for themselves, duh.
We were dismayed when the crown went instead to Miss Wisconsin Laura Kaeppeler, surely a nice girl, but one who paled in comparison and was super guilty of that over-emoting opera.
And if our favoritism weren't already clear enough, where other pageant princesses conquered the talent portion with ballet or sang over-emoted opera, Miss Oklahoma broke out a River Dance.
So we were dismayed when the crown went instead to Miss Wisconsin Laura Kaeppeler, surely a nice girl, but one who paled in comparison and was super guilty of that over-emoting opera. And before the crown had even had a chance to settle on her hair-sprayed head — certainly before Wisconsin could have possibly organized her crusade to mentor the children of incarcerated parents — Kaeppeler has used the power of her crown to chase boys, not dreams!
Hot off her Saturday night win, (and her home state Packer's Sunday loss) Kaeppeler has issued an introduction to Green Bay quarterback Aaron "Discount Double Check" Rodgers: "If you're watching, Aaron Rodgers, call me."
Rodgers said he heard about the request, watched the end of the pageant, but has not called.
Tsk tsk to the cheese lady for using her platform to elicit numbers. Tell us: What do you think of Miss America's bold play for Green Bay?