One of the best aspects of Fantastic Fest, one that separates it from all other film festivals on the planet, is its lineup of signature events. One such event, The Fantastic Debates, has come to symbolize the insanity of this festival and the fervor of hordes of movie geeks gathering in one place to drink beer and watch genre films. The concept is simple: two men enter a boxing ring replete with podiums and argue a given topic. Should one contestant fail to achieve victory in the field of Socratic debate, he may yet do so in hand-to-hand combat. A three-round boxing match follows the debate much to the delight of the roaring crowd. In this way, we can ensure that all the civility of polite discussion is beaten into a bloody pulp.

This year’s undercard began with a bout between actual astrophysicist Andy Howell and the creator of the internet meme known as F**K NASA. Their topic should be pretty self-evident, and in the end, Howell trounced the Lilliputian naysayer.

The second fight was between local filmmakers David and Nathan Zellner. Their topic? Whether humans or robots were the supreme beings of the planet. David believed that human beings are still lords of the realm, while Nathan was ready to genuflect to his new robo-masters before they were even in power. With a little surprise help from “Medium Wonder,” a facsimile of the robot from the 80s TV series Small Wonder, Nathan proved victorious.

The third undercard was arguably the most anticipated fight of the evening. Actors, and former hobbits, Elijah Wood and Dominic Monaghan stepped into the ring to debate the merits of World of Warcraft. Elijah, a fest fan and regular attendee, feels the online role-playing game is a waste of time while Dominic, here with his new film The Day, argues otherwise. The two squared off in a battle that would have shaken the shire to its very core.

The main event saw Alamo founder/owner Tim League inexplicably getting into the ring with Irish bare-knuckle boxing champ James Quinn McDonagh, who is here with the documentary Knuckle. As if this undertaking weren’t folly enough, Tim selected for the topic of debate: “Who is tougher, a Texan or an Irishman?” Sure, because what I want to do if I know I’m going to be sparring with a bare-knuckle boxing champion is belittle his heritage beforehand. The battle was epic, and the question plaguing all our minds was, would Tim survive?

But pictures don’t really capture the essence of this gladiatorial madness. So we took our cameras to the street the next day, once the dust had settled and the scars were visible, to talk to some witnesses…as well as a couple of surprise guests.