Please Don't Move Here
Guilty as charged: The Daily Show makes fun of Austin, and the accusations are true
Austin has a bad reputation for waxing nostalgic about the good old days when I-35 wasn't such a traffic nightmare and finding an affordable place to live was relatively easy — and Jon Stewart's not letting us get away with it.
Currently filming in Austin, Wednesday's episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart pokes fun at these stereotypes during a segment set up to be about Texas' vast immigration issues. But Stewart and his correspondents turn the tables on an audience of locals with a sardonic spotlight on the ridiculous issues plaguing Austin that's riddled with Austin stereotypes.
Correspondent Jason Jones opens the segment stationed not at the Texas-Mexico border, but someplace closer to home. "I'm actually where the real immigration crisis is — the Austin border," Jones says. "The human influx into this city is out of control and the locals are fucking pissed." Who here isn't tired of the outsiders who clog our roads and turn downtown nightlife into a drunken chaos that only college kids can tolerate?
"This morning I got stuck for 45 minutes in the northbound jogging lane."
Met with raucous applause from the audience, Jones continues with one of the most common complaints heard 'round the city. "Jon, it's getting too damn crowded," Jones says. "This morning I got stuck for 45 minutes in the northbound jogging lane."
Samantha Bee reports from a kayak on the Colorado River where she channels the spirit of the carefree, paddleboarding, taco-eating Austinite and dispels myths about the body of water.
"'River' is actually being generous," she quips. "It's more like Austin's organic bramble and algae puddle farm, where thousands of dreamers risk blisters and a farmer's tan as they paddleboard their way to freedom in the hope that one day, they too, can live the dream working on commission in a vintage taco shop."
Later in the segment, Jessica Williams reports on a super-secret sting mission to deport unwanted newbies by posting a Craigslist ad looking for a "keytar/ukulele player to join a Japanese language Lana Del Ray cover band." Non-locals who show up at the audition (yes, especially that hipster friend) will be rounded up and sent back to "whatever God-forsaken suburb they came from." (We hear Round Rock is lovely in the fall.)
Native Austinite or new Austinite, judging by the audience's reactions, we have a couple things in common: We really love living in Austin (or else we would have moved a long time ago), and we really hate this new breed of super-hipster.
"The crowd really does seem hostile to people coming here," Stewart laughs as the segment ends. "You know, when you write something you don't really know if it's gonna hit a nerve, but boy, that's a fucking root canal we hit on that one."
It's funny, because it's true. See for yourself below.
The Daily Show continues filming in Austin on Thursday, October 30. You can watch the full episode from Wednesday night here.