too much flossing
Run for Leslie: The Austin Thong Jog is bouncing and jiggling away for a goodcause
I mean, of course there's a 5k in Austin that encourages its participants to run in their underwear. Of course there is. We're just curious why it took so long to manifest.
Because, first of all, who wants to wear all that burdensome clothing when it's one million degrees outside and you're running and sweating and bouncing all over town?
Second, Austin encourages people to pull that kind of innocent, eye-popping behavior every day. That guy who rides his bike in a thong gets it. He knows what's up with the flexibility and even tanning that a thong affords one while exercising.
Leslie Cochran, our dearly departed one-man visitor's bureau to the city, also sported several tasteful, breathable numbers in his daily thonged travels about downtown. His buttcheeks were the windows into his soul, and his soul was apparently very tan.
To honor Leslie's memory of free-spirited goodwill to everyone in town, you're all now officially invited to join the Austin Thong Jog on Oct. 20. (And cue Sisqo's inescapable turn-of-the-century hit. You're welcome.)
The Thong Jog, which is exactly what the title implies, starts outside Lipstick 24 at 9 a.m. Everyone is invited to come in whatever level of (un)dress they feel most comfortable with, and awards will be handed out to the "best-dressed" thong owner. We're only guessing that has to go to whomever finds the best Borat-style sling.
Then, after the respective 1-mile walk or 5k run throughout East Austin, everyone is invited to bring their bare asses back to Lipstick 24 and party all night long at the best next-to-nude after-party in town.
There's a flip cup tournament with prizes for the four-person team that dominates, food vendors will be present with treats, and local bands and DJs will provide the necessary live music to keep the party going all night long.
Registration for the run is $40.00 per person, and all of the money raised will be donated to Austin area homeless shelters in the name of Sir Leslie.
Whether you really loved what Leslie represented for the city, or whether you just need a convenient excuse to gad about in public in your skivvies for a day, it doesn't matter. Either way, the proceeds are going to organizations that likely helped Cochran while he was still alive. Can't argue with giving to a good cause.
So, what's it going to be, kids? Do you have what it takes to make the jog in your G-string?
The Austin Thong Jog kicks off on October 20 at 9 a.m. at Lipstick 24. Walkers, joggers and runners of all ages are welcome to join in the celebration, but the after-party will be a 21+ event.