Assistant Editor Samantha Pitchel reads everything so you don’t have to.

Here are the links we loved today:

Happy Chris Gethard Day! Today, the comic (and host of The Chris Gethard Show) celebrates the release of his book, A Bad Idea I’m About To Do (True Tales of Seriously Poor Judgment and Stunningly Awkward Adventure); he also stars in Real Estate’s just-released video for “Easy,” directed by Tom Scharpling and featuring an appearance from another web talk show host, Jake Fogelnest (along with Videogum's Gabe Delahaye). Read an excerpt from his collection of sad, hilarious stories on Splitsider.

Another must-read: Melissa Febos’ “Missed Connections”:

There is a moment in your twenties, when you know what it means to love rightly, but not how to do it. Your fears are still stronger than your beliefs. I don’t think it makes sense to regret those wrongs, because how else do we learn? Usually, we can’t repair them, and we don’t need to. But we do have to feel them, and it doesn’t always feel good; we might owe some amends, but no one owes us forgiveness.

Completely unrelated to recent Beyonce news…

Portable text message printer: useful?

An “anonymous” SNL writer (probably Bryan Tucker, on staff since ‘05) spills show secrets; Rookie's Tavi Gevinson interviews David Sedaris.

If you happen to be visiting Northampton, MA (or if you think you ever will), bookmark this amaaazing guide.

Two ends of the OMG spectrum: 12 celebs who got engaged over the holidays; Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon launches rarities imprint on Jajajuwar. Also: Fox orders a pilot from Always Sunny scribe Rob McElhenny, and headline of the day goes to The A.V. Club for “Lindsay Lohan starring in articles about starring as Elizabeth Taylor.”

Kickstarter of the day: help an author and a Pixar animator bring a book to life.

Rick Santorum offers supporters branded sweater vests for donations; start lining up, the Jason Wu for Target collection photos are out, and they're as good as we'd hoped.

Best lists: 30 taco-related crimes; 10 legendary bad boys of literature; Complex rounds up all the art references in The Simpsons.

Preorder your copy of On the Bro’d (y’know, the book that’s “Every sentence of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, retold for bros”); James Joyce now in the public domain.

Now I’m on board with the sexy vampire thing: first photos of Nicholas Hoult in UK thriller Warm Bodies.

Take The Guardian’s online memory quiz; Scientific American uses "prediction errors" to understand how optimism works.

New Daytrotter session from The Smith Westerns; new episode of The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show, analyzing the most anticipated films of 2012.

Volcanic island appears overnight in the Red Sea.

Occupy Wall Street is looking into hiring an accountant to manage donated funds.

And FINALLY, Girl Walk // All Day, Jacob Krupnick's love letter to both New York City and Girl Talk's album All Day, is streaming for free online.