In news that will delight patriots everywhere, Travis County’s Fire Marshal has announced that fireworks will not be banned this Fourth of July.
Due to not-quite-drought conditions, roman candles, M80’s and black cats can once again be used to celebrate the indpendence of the greatest country on earth. (Hell yeah.)
In a press release issued yesterday, Fire Marshal Hershel Lee made sure to point out that while the county isn’t technically experiencing drought conditions, it certainly hasn’t experienced many heavy rains either.
So exercise extreme caution when blasting any shoddily made explosives into the sky and, obviously, avoid any forested areas.
The sale of fireworks will be legalized in Travis County from June 24th until July 4th, available at roadside stands everywhere and huge mega warehouses in some places.
Purchase liberally, but please remember to celebrate conservatively. Before you go shopping, a reminder from Smokey and Rod Serling on how carelessness can cause forest fires.