Worst Stocking Stuffers
The 10 worst possible gifts to give this holiday season
While a stocking exploding with holiday treats can be a wonderful sight to behold on Christmas morning, it isn't until you rummage through it that you find out exactly how wonderful — or terrible — the gifts may be. While it certainly is the season for giving, please leave these 10 horrible gifts off your holiday shopping list this year.
An eHarmony Membership
While you may just be trying to help your friend or loved one find someone to care about, that's not how this gift will come off to them.
What it really says? "I think you are doing a bad job at dating" or "you should be married by now." Please avoid giving this for the sake of your relationship with the intended recipient.
Bacon-flavored jelly beans
Reviewers describe the flavor of these jelly beans in terms of "putridness that lingers" and note "awful is not a strong enough word." While your loved one may really be crazy for bacon, they will almost definitely not be crazy about these artificially-flavored bacon candy beans (even if they do come in a cute little tin).
Two words: Stay away.
Underwear for two
This product is exactly what its name suggests, which makes no sense whatsoever. A product described as "underwear with four leg holes" is probably not something you should give to anyone, even as a $9 joke gift for a couple.
Maybe just buy them a pair of matching underwear instead. At least those are useful.
Fuzzy Face picture frame
Although this picture frame will fit nicely into a stocking, it doesn't mean it belongs there. The concept is the same as a Wooly Willy toy for kids, except instead of giving a magnetic beard to a cartoon character, you can do the same thing with photos of your loved ones.
Give this gift and expect to see a photo of yourself in it — with a unibrow, of course.
Okay, this is one of those "joke" gifts that just won't die. I'm not sure anyone ever received a bag of black coal candy and did anything other than put on a half-hearted smile. You can't even eat it because it will turn your entire mouth a horrible shade of black-purple.
So save someone from the pain of having to keep a bag of this around and do not give it. (I can't emphasize this enough.)
There aren't too many things you can give someone that are quite as egregious as the "Undercap." It makes you look like you're wearing tighty whiteys on your head, which is apparently something the product's designer felt like the world needed. Some (okay, nearly all) gag gifts should just stay on Amazon where they belong.
GIRL Travel Spray by Pharrell Williams
As the most poorly reviewed fragrance on Sephora's site (some prime examples: "Insta-headache" and "Girl? More like old man!"), this is one celebrity fragrance you should stay away from. The fragrance, which is a collaboration between Williams and fashion house Comme des Garçons, may sound appealing with its notes of violet, vetiver and neroli, but according to many reviews, it ends up smelling like Barbasol.
Not just that, but for $30, you only get 0.3 ounces of shaving cream-scented eau de parfum.
"Grandma's Last Christmas Tree" Scented Candle
"Somehow she survived another Christmas, but this one is probably her last." This is not the description you want of something you're giving to a loved one (whether it's a joke or not).
Forcing someone to realize the impending mortality of a beloved family member is something you should really avoid both during the holiday season — and every other day of the year.
Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper
So here is another gift that involves something wonderful (jelly beans) and turns them into something you will never want to eat (via being "pooped" out of a reindeer's butt). Let's be honest: When is anyone ever going to use this? As a "hilarious" holiday gag? Whatever your answer may be, it should be no.
Anything from Ed Hardy
We all remember when things with Ed Hardy's designs on them — shirts, lighters, steering wheel covers — were literally everywhere in the mid-2000s. Now, more than 10 years after the brand first launched, these are items which should be avoided like the plague (not that they were ever really acceptable).
Über-flashy, tattoo-inspired gifts are not the ones you want to be known for giving.